Hi Doreen,
I'm sorry to hear that, i'd like to welcome you to the group. I can see how hard seeing your ex at work would be everyday and it there's a difficulty curve when your ex suffers from my BPD. I think that they're the most difficult break ups. It helps to talk to others that have gone through a similar experience.
To answer question about if pwBPD can love the same as a non disordered, I guess that you would have to think about what traits r/s entails. The answer will probably vary per person but reciprocity is a big one, and it's not just in romantic r/s's, you want that in friendships as well. A pwBPD can't reciprocate like you or I, they have social impairments and they have a lot going on inside. A pwBPD have chronic feelings of shame, have low self worth and self esteem and self loath. BPD has more co-ocurring mental illnesses than other mental illness's and experts are not sure why, usually there's a comorbid anxiety and depression. There's other criterion as well but there's a lot going on internally and it's difficult to put yourself in someone shoes when you're fighting your internal battles.
Here's a link to an article from a senior member, everyone is different and will have different opinions, but it's her opinion on how a pwBPD feel love.
My Definition of Love. I have Borderline Personality Disorder.
