At our lowest point so far

[catclaw]

Hey

It's been a rough few weeks lately.
Dh has his first ever court hearing on wednesday, regarding SS' therapy. BPDm still denies him therapy and blames dh for all the trouble SS is having. She demands a couple- counselling, otherwise she will not allow SS to go to (mind you) a family-based therapeutic concept that involves both his parents and their partners. This makes no sense at all.

Meanwhile, ss' school asked for an appointment with dh to give feedback on how SS seems to have major regression issues in his behaviour. He has meltdowns and sees hinself as the complete victim in every single situation. We've been noticing for a while how the afternoons were spent getting more and more dramatic with SS making a scene on how he does not need any of this (homework) how everything is just too difficult (his teachers explicitly stated that it's not a cognitive problem, but a behavioursl one) and how yes, he expects everybody to be reliable but doesn't bother being reliable himself. We had several talks about lying and responsibility. We have the same impression as his teachers - he has no learning effect, be it from consequences  (you can play video games when the homework is done and if it's too late by then, that's just how it is, e.g.) or praise or even achieving something he wished for by taking advantage of his token-system. Nope. It's like everything he did on one day is deleted the next.
We got mail from BPDm's lawyer stating that he isn't properly taken care of with us because we work. She wants him back.

A few weeks back, everything blew up when ss brought home a smartphone from his weekend with her. We had this discussion with him x1000 and he KNOWS that he can't have a smartphone until he shows that he's willing to participate and do his part. BPDm just decided he gets one to call him whenever she feels like it. Just nope. Plus, she deleted her email account because she was "hacked" and doesn't provide a new email adress for dh to communicate the issue (strict no-texting-policy). She said it's none of his business when she makes a new account.
So ss told his lies aboit how horrible life with us is to his mom again and got a smartphone in return.

I'm having severe physical and medical issues lately due to stress, e.g. I've lost vision on one eye with no medical explanation so far. My husband speaks of divorce because he can't stand to see me physically decreasing. I am at a point where i just don't know anymore... .

[soundofmusicgirl]

Catclaw... .I am so so sorry to hear that.  
I believe we live in the same country (?).

If you want to talk please feel free to send me a personal message with your contact info.
I would be willing to lend you my listening (and very understanding) ear.