My wife

[Depression = 72% of members]

Sorry to be a bother. My wife has been rageing at me for a little over an hour now and it really hurts. She makes snide comments when we are talking and I reached my breaking point when she told me "I should go see a doctor so I can take meds like my husband and be emotionless and have no,desire." I told her that it bothered me and she lost it and stopped talking. When she did start to talk she told me that we just can't communicate because its all about me and I have to guard my feelings and not care about her. She went up to our room and I am alone downstairs right now. I don't want to fight with her but anything can and does set her off. I feel so alone

[Sammy8862]

Sorry to be a bother. My wife has been rageing at me for a little over an hour now and it really hurts. She makes snide comments when we are talking and I reached my breaking point when she told me "I should go see a doctor so I can take meds like my husband and be emotionless and have no,desire." I told her that it bothered me and she lost it and stopped talking. When she did start to talk she told me that we just can't communicate because its all about me and I have to guard my feelings and not care about her. She went up to our room and I am alone downstairs right now. I don't want to fight with her but anything can and does set her off. I feel so alone

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Mutt]

Hi Sammy8862, 



I'm sorry to hear that. You're not a bother, this place is here for you 24/7/365, the lessons are on the right side of the board ------------>
Many of us are just like you, you'll see that you'll fit right in, you're not alone. 90% of what a pwBPD say about us is about them. Is she still up in her room?

[Naughty Nibbler]

Hey Sammy8862 
I'd like to join Mutt in Welcoming you.
You definitely aren't' a bother. We are all here to help each other    I'm so sorry your wife is giving you such a hard time. Snide remarks and raging can really wear you down.

Has your wife been diagnosed with BPD?
 

I don't want to fight with her but anything can and does set her off. I feel so alone.

Many others here can relate to your experiences.  We can't change others, but we can make things better for ourselves by using certain communication skills and setting boundaries. There are some links to lessons in the right hand margin. The Basic Tools section is a good place to start.

It can be very uncomfortable to feel alone.  Do you have family to reach out to for support?  How long has your wife acted this way?

[Meili]

I would like to join Mutt and NN in welcoming you, as well as echo their comments on your not being alone. All of us here have been there in one form or another.

If you could tell us more about your situation, perhaps we could help you find ways of handling it all and get you to where you want to be.

It also helps to read the posts of others here. You'll quickly realize that many of us have experienced what you described.

As Mutt and NN said, there are some basic communication tools on the right side of the page that will help you communicate better.

How can we best support you?

[daverisk]

I certainly understand that "alone" feeling.  It is horrible, almost unbearable, at times.  Part of my solution... .ongoing... .is that I have two confidants that I can speak to... .that know my whole story... .one is my sister... .she's a psychologist... .and the other a coworker... .and I worry about that relationship... .I'm getting from her some of the intimacy and affection I don't get from my wife... .and that can be very dangerous.