My Granddaughter has many traits of BPD

[Elizabeth Hope]

Currently my granddaughter is in Residential School. Things are very hard as she is not making wise choices. We have gone through so many things for her and looked for so many kinds of help. She is 14 years old.

I would love to communicate with this group on a regular basis to help me cope and perhaps helping others. I look forward to participating and hearing fro other members.

Thankyou

Elizabeth

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Lollypop]

Hi there Elizabeth Hope

Welcome to the forum. I'm very sorry to hear about your granddaughter but very glad you're here. You're absolutely right, it certainly is very difficult to emotionally cope when our loved one is making impetuous or wrong decisions. It's just exhausting dealing with them and searching for answers.

You'll find a lot of information at the top right hand side of this page. It sounds as if you've done some reading already but I encourage you to learn as much as you can.  I found the more I learned the better I understood and the very positive consequence was that I no longer reacted in the same way. This helps me be a calming influence.

My BPDs is 26 and didn't get diagnosed until 24. He was always tricky and the teenage years were a rollercoaster. The more we did for him and tried to fix him or his situation then the worse it got. I now understand that he just can't help his behaviours.

There are many in the forum who are grandparents or parents of teenage girls who support one another backed up by improving our communication and validation skills.  These will really help you better interact with your granddaughter. There are easy but specific techniques that can help you both.  It can be overwhelming because there's a lot of information but go gently forwards with baby steps. Start by reading the material, Learning and posting.

It's wonderful that she's got you looking out for her and I can see you love her deeply and want the best for her.

Has the school or therapist suggested potential BPD?  What kind of therapyis she having, if any?

Importantly, how are you doing in all of this? Do you have support for yourself?  

I'm sending a hug because I think you might be needing it

LP