Just trying to get my head around how I am feeling

[Bobbi]

Hi there,
Just trying to get my head around how I am feeling. I want to continue to be with my boyfriend but my head and my heart are struggling with if that is the best action. He has so many good qualities and I can't help but care about him. But what will my future be like when I know he is who he is? I don't feel optimistic at present about being with  him and still I hesitate to move on. I have an idea that being with someone else or single would be healthier for me. Is that the falsehood and idealism? Or is it staying with him? Just struggling right now. I looked at all the boards for those committed to improve relationships to those moving on, to those having conflict. I don't know. I don't feel like I know anything. Ultimately I feel distraught because of this indecisiveness. Probably I need to work on myself more. I do have depression/anxiety issues. Have been off work sick which gives me time to think... .quite a lot of time to think.  Reflecting on it over the past year or so he has made some good strides towards healing himself. And at times he credits me with being supportive and helping him. So I have guilt when I question being with him. I want to have a good quality life. I want to be able to participate in life. Take time off to go do fun things without having to worry he can't pay for his way or that he will become unstable during an adventure. And that all seems so selfish to me to think that. But i do think it... .
Anyone have any thoughts on this or suggestions?
Thank you.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[heartandwhole]

Hi Bobbi,



I'm really glad you reached out for help, and I'm sorry this post wasn't replied to in a timely manner. You've found a great place for support and hope. Things can get better for you. I've been in your shoes, and sometimes the pressure to make the "right" decision just makes me shut down. Your feelings are totally understandable; you have every right to feel that you want a healthier relationship. And your insight that that would start with work on yourself is a great one, in my opinion.

I've read your posts and see that your boyfriend recently broke up with you.

What happened, and how do things stand at the moment between you?

Hang in there.   We are here for you.

heartandwhole

[Kait]

I feel the same. We will be married 10 years this year. There are good things. I think now the bad is out weighing the good. Just don't know what to do. I try and try but things just seem to be getting worse. My husband doesn't know he has bod. Our marriage counselor told me after she said she cannot help us. Told me to read walking on eggshells which basically said he needs to hear it from a Heath care professional. It wouldn't be received well coming from me. But he won't talk to anyone since he says there is nothing wrong with him. I AM the problem.