My emotional turmoil is more about his emotional pain then my own.

[LoveAndLight]

I know this is common, I'd like to hear how others deal with it.

Whether it be in regards to making big decisions or even just the daily roller coaster that endures in my relationship with my uBPDh, I find that the extensive emotional turmoil I endure seems to be more about my discomfort with the emotional turmoil he is feeling then that of my own.  Hopefully that makes sense.  

I find that I want to initiate resolution with him just to "pull the plug" to release the emotional tension and pain to relieve it for him.  I find myself initiating, or at least considering, action to resolve the conflict even if I don't believe it is the right thing for either of us.  It is extraordinarily hard to hold back.  I'm in the middle of a situation now where he was clearly in the wrong on something that my have underlying relationship ending consequences.  However, because he isn't initiating resolution to the issue, I feel this overpowering need to do so.  He seems to be in so much emotional pain, it is hard for me to watch it.  But deep down inside I know that my "rescuing" him for so many years has been at the heart of drivers of what has gotten us to where we are today, which is not good.  

I remain in this determining what to do with my relationship stage and am in a great deal of turmoil at the moment.  While I'm trying to figure out what to do, I'm recognizing the above and trying to figure out how to wade through it to gain clarity on next steps.