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[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

I'm a husband of BPD wife and we have two kids age 2 and 3. We are separated now and are marriage is nearly 4 years old. We were good friends for 5 years before marriage. After marriage, my wife had two quick pregnancies. There was always a lot of volatility and i kept thinking it might get better. But life was just so inconsistent and i never lnew what i was going to get. And i started to become isolated. After a year or so of counseling, one counselor suggested to my wife she may have sprinklings of BPD. When i read about it, it felt like my life. Anyway, one book led me here and i just wanted to write it down somewhere - i dont know anyone that is going through what i am. She went into treatment, and i had some support groups there that provided comfort because there were others. Same with the books. It was validating. I want my marriage to work and the family to be together. Right now. I dont see how that can happen, unless i just decided that it's worth being miserable and devalued regularly. And then, i think, how is divorce and coparenting going to work. What can i do here to make this situation better?

[Dadlife]

I'm a husband of BPD wife and we have two kids age 2 and 3. We are separated now and are marriage is nearly 4 years old. We were good friends for 5 years before marriage. After marriage, my wife had two quick pregnancies. There was always a lot of volatility and i kept thinking it might get better. But life was just so inconsistent and i never lnew what i was going to get. And i started to become isolated. After a year or so of counseling, one counselor suggested to my wife she may have sprinklings of BPD. When i read about it, it felt like my life. Anyway, one book led me here and i just wanted to write it down somewhere - i dont know anyone that is going through what i am. She went into treatment, and i had some support groups there that provided comfort because there were others. Same with the books. It was validating. I want my marriage to work and the family to be together. Right now. I dont see how that can happen, unless i just decided that it's worth being miserable and devalued regularly. And then, i think, how is divorce and coparenting going to work. What can i do here to make this situation better?

[Naughty Nibbler]

Welcome Dadlife:

I'm sorry for what you are going through with your Partner.  Are either of you currently in therapy?  How are things going with the children?  Are you currently able to visit them?

You say there is always a lot of volatility.  Can you give some examples of some to the behavior problems?  If you are able to share some details, we can help lead you to some specific lessons.  In the meantime, the two set of lessons below can be helpful for you to look over.  I'm sure something will jump out at you as being helpful.

If you click on the link below, it will take you to some information to help with decision making:
DECISION MAKING GUIDELINES

This link will take you to some lessons focused on Improving a Relationship
LESSONS FOR THE IMPROVING BOARD