So lost

[Depression = 72% of members]

My wife and I are both mental health professionals. So I have known for quite some time she has BPD, however didn't want to believe it. When she was officially diagnose she lost it and was unwilling to accept it, that was almost 2 years ago. She only recently now is even willing to admit she has BPD. Life has become completely out of control to the point, I'm not sure whether every other word is a lie or not. She has been emotionally cheating on me with someone else, which I recently found out about, she lies to me all the time, sometimes I wonder if she can even keep up with her own lies. I am on the fence of whether to stay or not, I love my wife more than anything and I want our marriage to work, but I don't know what to do. She does go to individual therapy, but is she even telling her therapist the truth and working on her BPD symptoms? We just started attending martial therapy last week. I have one foot half way out the door and the other foot out the door.

[katelyn516]

My wife and I are both mental health professionals. So I have known for quite some time she has BPD, however didn't want to believe it. When she was officially diagnose she lost it and was unwilling to accept it, that was almost 2 years ago. She only recently now is even willing to admit she has BPD. Life has become completely out of control to the point, I'm not sure whether every other word is a lie or not. She has been emotionally cheating on me with someone else, which I recently found out about, she lies to me all the time, sometimes I wonder if she can even keep up with her own lies. I am on the fence of whether to stay or not, I love my wife more than anything and I want our marriage to work, but I don't know what to do. She does go to individual therapy, but is she even telling her therapist the truth and working on her BPD symptoms? We just started attending martial therapy last week. I have one foot half way out the door and the other foot out the door.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Mutt]

Hi katelyn516, 



I'm sorry that you're going through a difficult time. I can relate with how confusing it is when a pwBPD will dissociate and alter reality to match their out of place feelings. I can relate with your post, I suspected that my exuBPDw was having an affair, I was doubting myself too. She lied about a lot of things over the years, some things I can't recall because she rewrote history so many times that I don't know the truth was. I learned to listen to my intuition and to watch what she does instead of what she says, I have to read between the lines.

I'm glad that you decided to join us, it helps to talk to people that can relate with you. You probably already know this, but you'll find the basic tools and lessons on the right side of the board.