Feeling alone

[UK chick]

I am just starting to realize that my wife does not only have BPD traits, which I had been aware of, but has full-blown BPD. I have severe PTSD from my own childhood but have been working with a trauma therapist for a few years. I am struggling with my partner triggering my PTSD because I constantly feel as though I am walking on egg-shells to avoid her either being so angry she says hurtful things and self-harms (my fault!) or she does not speak to me for days (also my fault). I am exhausted and not sure whether I even want to stay in my relationship. We have been together for 8 years - on and off - but live together with our 4 children.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Coconut2017]

Sorry for your pain.
You need to make yourself your priority and not only for yourself but for your children too. You will not be able to be a stable good parent under these circumstances.
If your wife damages your own recovery, something has to change.
I know so well the walking on egg-shells feeling, it's so draining.

[heartandwhole]

Hi UK chick,



I'm sorry to hear that things have been so difficult in your relationship. Walking on eggshells is exhausting. Especially when you are dealing with your won symptoms on top of your partner's behavior. 

You've found a great place for support. Members have been in similar situations and understand what you are going through. Additionally, there are tons of tools on the site that can help make things better in your relationship. There is hope, and you are not alone.

What kinds of things usually trigger the worst behaviors, UK chick?

Keep posting. It really helps to share. We're here for you. 

heartandwhole