Strange experience with behavior of BPD partner

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

I wasn't really sure where to post this... but I have been so confused and was hoping to maybe find some answers. My relationship with my partner started in the worst way... he was shifty and I couldn't really tell how he felt about me. He would go from intense passion to giving me strong feelings that he was using me to gain approval from friends. He would do this by making inappropriate comments about us having sex infront of people when we would go out... like he was bragging. I later got a text message from his girlfriend who he was cheating on with me! She broke up with him and he fell apart... He then told me about his disorder and I felt terrible. We had met at school and had taken a class together. I tried to give him some emotional support as he went through his breakup... but when the semester was over I ended contact with him. Our relationship really started after several months had passed and we met up again. He was nolonger seeing his ex (as far as I know... I don't know what to believe anymore). So we started dating. I decided to forgive him and wanted to try to make things work. The strange behavior that I'm talking about was how after we would have sex, he would run away... like he would leave the room and not want to look at me... This obviously made me feel terrible.  eventually that stopped happening and he wanted to cuddle me and would fall fast asleep literally clinging to me... but I can't seem to let that go... why would he respond to me like that? Is that a normal behavior for people with BPD? We are currently no contact because his behavior has been shifty again lately... he was coming up with lots of excuses of why he couldn't see me... he couldn't even visit with me for a few hours... It was like he was just keeping tabs on me so I wouldn't go away but he had no interest in spending time with me. I told him how his actions were making me feel but his response was that he was spending all his time working out so he had no time for me... That sounded like a bunch of BS. So I explained to him that I couldn't tolerate his behavior and that I felt like I should move on. This relationship lasted a year with random bouts of "shifty behavior" that has made it impossible for me to trust him... I keep getting told that I should have known this was going to happen because of what happened with his ex... but I had fallen in love with him and I wanted to give him a chance... he is a good person deep down... but it's like he forgets that I'm a person sometimes... and that his actions can hurt me.

[Kitkatmeow]

I wasn't really sure where to post this... but I have been so confused and was hoping to maybe find some answers. My relationship with my partner started in the worst way... he was shifty and I couldn't really tell how he felt about me. He would go from intense passion to giving me strong feelings that he was using me to gain approval from friends. He would do this by making inappropriate comments about us having sex infront of people when we would go out... like he was bragging. I later got a text message from his girlfriend who he was cheating on with me! She broke up with him and he fell apart... He then told me about his disorder and I felt terrible. We had met at school and had taken a class together. I tried to give him some emotional support as he went through his breakup... but when the semester was over I ended contact with him. Our relationship really started after several months had passed and we met up again. He was nolonger seeing his ex (as far as I know... I don't know what to believe anymore). So we started dating. I decided to forgive him and wanted to try to make things work. The strange behavior that I'm talking about was how after we would have sex, he would run away... like he would leave the room and not want to look at me... This obviously made me feel terrible.  eventually that stopped happening and he wanted to cuddle me and would fall fast asleep literally clinging to me... but I can't seem to let that go... why would he respond to me like that? Is that a normal behavior for people with BPD? We are currently no contact because his behavior has been shifty again lately... he was coming up with lots of excuses of why he couldn't see me... he couldn't even visit with me for a few hours... It was like he was just keeping tabs on me so I wouldn't go away but he had no interest in spending time with me. I told him how his actions were making me feel but his response was that he was spending all his time working out so he had no time for me... That sounded like a bunch of BS. So I explained to him that I couldn't tolerate his behavior and that I felt like I should move on. This relationship lasted a year with random bouts of "shifty behavior" that has made it impossible for me to trust him... I keep getting told that I should have known this was going to happen because of what happened with his ex... but I had fallen in love with him and I wanted to give him a chance... he is a good person deep down... but it's like he forgets that I'm a person sometimes... and that his actions can hurt me.

[Overseas1899]

"he is a good person deep down". Please don't try to save him. No children involved?  Run and don't look back. It is not your responsibility to save people. Don't stay with him because you feel sorry for him and want to help. Go to counselling so you can help yourself through this. Been there. Still there. Wouldn't do it again. So glad for you that you have figured this out early on.