New here w/ 14yo BPD daughter

[FLNolegirl]

 
   
Re: Will you tell us more about yourself?
« Reply #1 on: October 02, 2013, 05:56:26 AM »
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What type of relationship are you in?

Biological Mother to a 17 year old & 14 year old daughters. 14 yo is "undiagnosed" BPD though all signs point that direction. Remarried 8 years ago to step-father.



Who else (if anyone), in child's family, has BPD?

I believe that  my sister has same (though also undiagnosed) disorder. Ex-husband is hopefully recovering prescription drug addict (not really sure if he is using again as I rarely speak to him) and probable narcissistic personality. History of post partum depression with two of her aunts. Three male cousins on father's side with drug/alcohol abuse/addiction



What is your child's strongest quality?

Extremely  intelligent! Determined  to belong to every sport or club available to her. She is funny, intelligent, and engaging She has a great voice and is a good actress. everyone outside the family loves her exhuberant personality.



What are the top challenges your child is facing?

Living a balanced life without the extreme emotional turbulence. Current Situation: High school starts in a few months and honestly I am terrified... .boys, drama, sex... .



What do you find most difficult in dealing with your child?
Constant need to be absolute center of attention and get her way in EVERYTHING or she throws a tantrum. Utter disrespect for myself and her older sister as well a sheer jealousy of her sister.



How would you categorize your child? Diagnosed? Undiagnosed?

She was diagnosed with ADD/ADHD at age 6 or 7,  potential BPD at age 12,  possible ODD most recently



What do you struggle with yourself?

possible anxiety/ depression as well as stress induced high blood pressure



Is anyone in therapy? Child? Parents?
DD is in therapy. I, mom, get individual counseling as well

If so, what types?
Four plus years of one on one counseling. Started out as ADHD & anxiety which has progressed to "undiagnosed" BPD



What are your goals at bpdfamily.com?

To find a way to deal with my daughter's difficulties without tearing our family apart. Looking for guidance on successful strategies and treatments. Possibly interested in "behavior boot-camp" type therapy.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[wendydarling]

Hi FLNolegirl

Welcome to bpdfamily   I'm glad you found us though sorry what brings you here. You've come to the right place for support, as you'll see many members here relate to your situation, you are not alone.  Have a look to the right  at the tools and lessons, many of which are taught in DBT - these help us change the way we communicate with our children to improve the relationship.

I'm glad you are in counselling - looking after you, it really helped me work through what I'm dealing with my 28DD. What's the biggest challenge you are dealing with at the moment?

WDx