Psychiatrist and School

[SammysMom]

My daughter is 15.
She has not attended a normal high school since last November. She just couldn't deal with it, within 15 minutes of class starting she would just walk out and then she just stopped going all together.
She wanted to go into a school alternate program, so i did what i had to do to make that happen.
Figuring that she would at least get somewhat of an education.
We started seeing a psychiatrist in March.
By April she was telling Sammy that she should take a break from doing the school program, because Sammy was telling her that she wasn't getting ANY help doing it. (Which was not true, she always get's mine and my fiances help).
Our next appt i brought in the booklets to show the Dr that she could do it,(when she puts her mind into it) but she just doesn't do them on a regular basis. The booklets do not take very much effort. (Booklets are about 10 pages long, 5 pages of reading material and 5 worksheets... .to get the answers you read the material).
All of  a sudden Sammy wants to go back to normal school.
Personally i don't think she is ready, i have tried to talk to her and explain that she can be doing up to 5 workbooks a week and she isn't even passed doing 1 - 2 workbooks a week, and high school she has 4 classes a day and that its a lot of workload that she really needs to prepare herself for.
The Dr went from saying she thinks even the workbooks are too much for her to handle, to saying that i should be supporting her in going back to school and at least look into getting her back into the normal high school routine and to make an appt with her when i've done so. Uhm what?
We went to the Catholic high school for an appt and the Principal could tell right away that she wasn't ready. The letter of diagnosis that the Dr did give to us, pretty much states that she didn't think Sammy can handle being in a normal high school.
I did call the Dr before the appt to ask for another letter to give to them, because of what the first letter stated and i never got a return call.
The Principal said that if i bring a letter from the Dr stating that she thinks Sammy can handle mainstream high school, then he will consider putting her in. But he also told Sammy that he was weary of enrolling her and her finding it too overwhelming and not being able to handle school.
You could tell through the whole meeting that Sammy was having a very hard time at keeping her composure.
I booked an appt for Monday.
Im a bit frustrated with this Dr, she is known to be one of the best in my city but she doesn't seem to really be listening to what the whole situation is. She seems to listen only to DD and takes what DD says in stone, and i understand that she is Sammy's doctor but for this diagnosis wouldn't it be common sense that Sammy wouldn't be telling the full truth and that listening to the parent's might be beneficial?
I am at my wits end , and not even sure where to go from here.
I am debating on whether i go to the appt by myself so that i can talk to the Dr about my concerns , or if i should take Sammy with me and ask to speak to the Dr first , while Sammy sits in the waiting room (which in turn will only get sammy more aggravated having to wait for at least 30 to 40 minutes).

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Lollypop]

... .because Sammy was telling her that she wasn't getting ANY help doing it... .
All of  a sudden Sammy wants to go back to normal school.

Hi Sammysmom

I can see it's all very frustrating and a little confusing for you.

I think Sammy wants to go back to school and used "lack of help" as a lever.  Her therapist thinks it would be beneficial for her to return to normal school.

I can see that you have some concerns about that. You've said you don't think she's ready because she's not completing her workbooks at home so she'd never cope with school. Is completing the workbooks at home your requirement to agree for her to go back to normal school? Have you considered that she doesn't want to do the workbooks, she's simply missing school and has changed her mind?

I'm not surprised your 15 year old daughter found it difficult to keep her composure in an appointment with the principal. It's a stressful environment and particularly emotional for her. I'd find that kind of situation quite intimidating myself to be honest.

It sounds to me that the current situation doing the workbooks isn't working out. What other options are there? Are there other schools that can be considered? Can she go back on an initial part time or phased  basis?

What concerns or objections do you have about her returning to school?  I obviously don't fully understand the situation so it'd help us get the picture.

has her therapy now stopped?

LP

[SammysMom]

Sammy wants to go back to school because she is bored. She was in school this year, but she would get very frustrated and couldn't keep her anger inside. Unfortunately she was suspended 3 times for violence  
She begged me to put her into the alternate program , i think she thought it was going to be nice to be able to stay home all day and not go to school, i know that she is regretting it now.
Myself and the DR think that she has a learning disability, she finds it hard to understand a question. Even when me and you would think it is very easy , she has a very tough time understanding and grasping what the question is about, thankfully i have been working with her on her school work since she was very small so i know how to interpret the question for her to understand.
However, the Alternate program isnt much about hands on. I spoke to the teacher in charge today and he did confirm that they don't really have the time to be hands on and suggested that she continue with the alternate program and if she starts to show improvements than they can start to slowly have her going to a certain school a few times a week.
She was making progress with the booklets, UNTIL the Dr told her that she thinks going to school would be a good idea (the Dr's reasoning is because she wants to see her in a stable environment for her education, which i understand but at the moment it isnt possible).
The certain school that has been suggested, was mentioned to Sammy previously however she adamantly doesn't want to hear it, if it isn't the school that SHE wants it is impossible to talk to her about it  
I was thinking today that i should go to the school and check it out for myself, than perhaps ill be able to know a little more about it and hopefully be able to talk to her.

Hi Sammysmom

I can see it's all very frustrating and a little confusing for you.

I think Sammy wants to go back to school and used "lack of help" as a lever.  Her therapist thinks it would be beneficial for her to return to normal school.

I can see that you have some concerns about that. You've said you don't think she's ready because she's not completing her workbooks at home so she'd never cope with school. Is completing the workbooks at home your requirement to agree for her to go back to normal school? Have you considered that she doesn't want to do the workbooks, she's simply missing school and has changed her mind?

I'm not surprised your 15 year old daughter found it difficult to keep her composure in an appointment with the principal. It's a stressful environment and particularly emotional for her. I'd find that kind of situation quite intimidating myself to be honest.

It sounds to me that the current situation doing the workbooks isn't working out. What other options are there? Are there other schools that can be considered? Can she go back on an initial part time or phased  basis?

What concerns or objections do you have about her returning to school?  I obviously don't fully understand the situation so it'd help us get the picture.

has her therapy now stopped?

LP

[Lollypop]

Hi sammysmom

Thanks for the background information.

Gosh, there's a lot of viewpoints here. No wonder you're feeling frustrated.

It seems a sensible suggestion by the Teacher that would gradually meet your daughter's needs. Your daughter is reluctant about that school though, perhaps because she doesn't know anything about it yet and feeling fearful?

When I can't make a decision on something it's generally because I don't have enough information yet to help me decide. I'd visit the "other" school and check it out and a better understanding of how they can help your daughter settle in.

What does your daughter enjoy doing (if anything! - my DS lost all interests 15+) ?

LP