Check mate

[Silc Andel]

I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 6 months living together. She is from another country and is back there now getting treatment for PTSD but when talking to her she is still isn't aware there is anything else wrong, it's all PTSD... I know for our relationship to last and it being long distance now with no certainty of her retuning soon, she will need to recognise what is underlying with having BPD. It is the only way I believe I can move forward in the relationship... .I feel stuck most of the time because I do know how to start the conversation without her thinking I want to fight with her or she will doubt my intentions... This is nothing new for our relationship... .I'm forever feeling like I'm in a game of chess and that she has me at 'check' most of the time... .How do I tell someone who thinks they know everything that is going on with their mind and doesn't want to hear anything that they don't like?

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Mutt]

Hi Silc Angel,



I'd like to welcome you to bpdfamily. It makes sense to try to talk to a loved one to get help. Unfortunately it's not that straight forward, I'll explain why.

Your pwBPD's reality is as real to her as yours is to you. Think about that. She doesn't have a benchmark to compare it to. Some people don't realize that they have a mental illness for decades, some people feel like there's something with them and their not sure why, some people are self aware and aware and are committed to work on themselves.

There's another way, it's your choice to accept her or to not accept her, there's no judgement here, you could radically accept her for who is and not for who you wish to be. There's about radical acception at the link.