BPD and infidelity

[dadistrying]

Hello Everyone,

I am married to my wife w/BPD. Infidelity always tends to be a recurring issue, without sounding ignorant or making blanket statements do all those with BPD have issues with cheating and fidelity? Is there anyone else who has been married to a spouse w/BPD and kept facing similar issues? What advice do you have? Does it get better?

[lostandconfused6]

Hello Everyone,

I am married to my wife w/BPD. Infidelity always tends to be a recurring issue, without sounding ignorant or making blanket statements do all those with BPD have issues with cheating and fidelity? Is there anyone else who has been married to a spouse w/BPD and kept facing similar issues? What advice do you have? Does it get better?

i'll be following this. my boyfriend seems to have issues with boundaries and knowing right from wrong sometimes when it comes to 1 particular person of the opposite sex (they aren't intimate have been once before i met him but i find their friendship inappropriate) . I have also been wondering if this is just something "normal" for someone living with BPD or if it's unique to my life

[dadistrying]

i'll be following this. my boyfriend seems to have issues with boundaries and knowing right from wrong sometimes when it comes to 1 particular person of the opposite sex (they aren't intimate have been once before i met him but i find their friendship inappropriate) . I have also been wondering if this is just something "normal" for someone living with BPD or if it's unique to my life

Hi there lostandconfused6! I'm so sorry to hear of your struggles too. I hope it gets better for you! I look forward to seeing the responses we get.

[lostandconfused6]

Hi there lostandconfused6! I'm so sorry to hear of your struggles too. I hope it gets better for you! I look forward to seeing the responses we get.

I hope it gets better for you also and someone here can provide some clarity. fingers crossed

[tryingsome]

BPDs are known for being impulsive
BPDs are notorious for idealization and devaluation.

Those two combos could illicit cheating though for different reasons.

Now saying that, not all BPDs cheat! If they don't, they don't.

However, if you are with a pwBPD who currently cheats, then it islikely they will continue with their infidelity unless they are seeking treatment. It has likely become a coping method for them.

Wish you the best.

[NYPD]

Hi,

It is a recurring theme in our marriage. My husband stares at women and has lied about communicating-seeing female colleagues. Everything I have read seem to indicate that the need for attention stirs them to the opposite sex.
Whether this is true or not, it doesn't give them the right to disrespect their partners.

[HelenaHandbasket]

I wouldn't say it's impossible that it might get better (if your wife is open to getting help for her BPD and determined to do the hard work). But remember that the best predictor of future behavior is relevant past behavior. If this has been a recurring issue so far, chances are it will continue to be. I hope I'm wrong and I wish you the best.