I'm scared of my BPD ex

[Danny95]

Hey you guys... .Long story short I broke up with my BPD ex after I couldn't take being with him anymore... .if you would like to know more I have another thread about it that posted on the new members area... .

But my issue is that I am still paranoid about him... .it's been a month and I'm afraid he's gnna try to come after me and do something... .I'm worried about it everyday which is why I don't stay home alone anymore I go to my grandma's (she isn't aware of the situation)... .he's tried to reach me through my online friend (who was the one who told him it was over) basically I had a severe anxiety attack because of him to the point where the ambulance had to get called and my sister who was there had him leave and then I cut off all contact with him and my online friend let him know that it was over and i haven't contacted him since... .

And Jus today he messaged my 2 close friends... .one of em told me what he said and he basically said that he misses me with all his heart and that he can't take it anymore that he has to see me and that I changed and that I killed him inside and he wants to die... .

Apparently he's told the online friend this too in the past and he tells me not to worry about it but idk... .

He's crazy and I'm scared he's gnna try to see me and do something. ... I know he's never hot me before but still... .

Im still trying to be strong... .Please any help would be greatly appreciated you guys... .

[Danny95]

My ex is threatening suicide to my friends because of me and he also said that he's gonna see me soon and that he'll never let me go

I'm trying to hang in there but im scared... .

[Blimblam]

I am sorry you are scared. But for your ex experiencing that fear is the best thing for him that's what he's been running from his entire life.

[Tausk]

Hi Danny:

I'm sorry for your fear and confusion.  It's very unbalancing and difficult to move through the FOG.  Are you seeing a Therapist?  You're issues sound quite serious.  Have you talked to the police department?  If you feel you or your ex is in danger, that is always the recommended first step.  Do not keep that issue a secret.  And it's not about your ex at this point. 

It's about you making sure that you are safe.

Keep in touch,

T

[sassy67]

Danny5,

I was scared of ex BPD bf as well. I really feel for you. It's hard bc you love him and miss him but something has happened to make you fearful of him. After 5 months my ex BPD decided to show his true colors. He got angry at me over something stupid, stated hiyying me and when I screamed out for someone to call the police he busted my cell phone, garbed by mouth and nearly severed by tongue. I've never seen so much blood in my life. He is now in jail under a 140k cash bond. Please be careful they can be very impulsive and a thought can turn into an action without in a heart beat.your wise to be causious. That lack of impulse control is so dangerous. I'm trying my best to keep my restraining order and not take him back but I still love him with all my heart. It's a bad situation but if I go back with him I'm certain he will kill me.

[Danie14]

I’m sorry you’re going through this with your exbf. I have a long-term H that am also afraid of. He’ll be my xH when I get my ducks in a row. I’ve heard similar things from him over the years, we’ve been in physical fights, there’s been a lot of *stuff* to deal with. Something’s that he’s said to me a long time ago that’s never left my head are: 1. No matter where you go I’ll always find you. 2. I am obsessed with you. 3. I’ll never let you leave me. On more than one occasion I’ve tried to leave but the kids where young and he wouldn’t let me take them with me. He’s so much stronger than me and I really don’t want the kids to see that mess.

Over the years I’ve come to terms with death. That he’s probably going to kill me. I’m not afraid to die, I never have been…well, not really…but I don’t want to die a stupid death. Sounds crazy even typing these thoughts out here…but what this has given me is the means to endure. I don’t want you to *endure* live so you’ve done something good for yourself by leaving him. Looking after yourself and your own health. I’d suggest that you do not be silent about this. Tell your people what’s going on, your gramma…she loves you and only wants the best for you. She’s smart, I bet, and has a lot of resources that will help you. Even just talking helps a lot. Talk to her and your family friends about this. Please, don’t be silent.

[Danny95]

Hey erverybody... .it's been a little over 3 months of NC with my ex... .

I was hoping he would've got over me by now but apparently he's not and is still persistent on seeing me and talking with me... .

He's still constantly messaging and texting my friends like crazy about me... .

My friends manny, rafael nd jorge came to see me yesterday... .My ex is still persistent on seeing me nd apparently from what they've told me he actually went to Rafaels house the other day with a mutual friend david since David knows where he lives nd I guess jonathan nd rafael talked... .nd he got ahold of jorge's number from manny nd he has been calling and texting jorge and all 3 of em... .nd apparently jorge told jonathan off on the phone about the whole situation... .nd he just keeps saying that he wants to see me nd that he's gnna see me... .but he wants them to arrange a meeting so he could go to my house or something like that... .like he wants rafael jorge or manny or all of em to go with him so he could see me... .he doesn't wanna go alone... .like he just seems to be getting more desperate nd he's still saying depressing stuff like he's cutting and burning himself for example... .he even claimed that he almost overdosed because of me

My ex also thinks that we never broke up... .like that's crazy... .

Rafael actually wants to arrange the meeting he wants me to tlk to him nd I tld him no

He wants me to tlk to him because he's tired of dealing with him and things like that

Nd he had the nerve to tell me tht were the ones dealing with your problem and you need to man up and deal with him and blah blah blah and that seriously just pissed me off... .

I told him that I never got him involved into your guys's lives and I've told you to block him (and I told Rafael again to block him) and he refuses to do so because he needs help

I told him something like that you can't help him... .but i was nd still am pissed at him... .instead of blocking him and discouraging any type of contact with me and jonathan he actually wants to do it so that he could get off their back... .

I understand their- especially his frustration however I can't block him for them they have to do that on their own. I'm not the one getting him involved in their lives they could easily block him in a matter of seconds. So for him to pretty much imply or just blame this all on me is so stupid and I just feel betrayed tbh. And I would feel even more betrayed if he actually arranged such a meeting for jonathan to see me... .

This whole entire situation is seriously draining me. I'm tired of this. It's frustrating, tiring, and pretty nerve wracking tbh because I feel like this situation since the end of June is slowly building up... .

I mean is he bluffing because even though he's still pursing  this, he's been saying this stuff since we broke up... .

My mom knows about this and she suggested that she call his mom and pretty much inform her about what's going on and to encourage her to get her son to leave me alone... .but idk if that would do any good... .

I'm still hanging in there... .

Please give me any advice or support... .I'd greatly appreciate it... .

[Sstepdad]

My SD 26 has BPD she has had many relationships the one thing that will drive her crazy is if she was dumped first, she will pursue and try to win back that person so she can do the dumping its all about winning not about true feelings.

Stick to your guns on NC sooner or later he will find a new supply if you re engage the conversation it will just fuel his persistence.

I don't think you want to go on the recycle Yo Yo.

[Danny95]

Thanks for the advice and no I definitely don't wanna go through the recycling again... .I'm still sticking to NC... .nd  you got a point... .nd as usual he's still saying that he's going to see me nd he wants to tlk to me... .but one of my friends I think is gnna block since he got tired of him bombarding him with text messages and all tht... .so hopefully he goes through with it and everyone else follows through... .

I'm still staying strong even though it's difficult... .

Any other advice tips suggestions you guys could give me would really help me... .

[StillAlive]

Thanks for the advice and no I definitely don't wanna go through the recycling again... .I'm still sticking to NC... .nd  you got a point... .nd as usual he's still saying that he's going to see me nd he wants to tlk to me... .but one of my friends I think is gnna block since he got tired of him bombarding him with text messages and all tht... .so hopefully he goes through with it and everyone else follows through... .

I'm still staying strong even though it's difficult... .

Any other advice tips suggestions you guys could give me would really help me... .

My only suggestion is to continue working on yourself and moving on. Try to not allow yourself to be dependent on others for your own happiness but at the same time occasionally be around others simply to enjoy their company. I'm not suggesting you write certain friends out of your life entirely; such as Rafael and Jorge - but it might be time to create new friends. You certainly do not need to involve yourself with this turmoil and confusion during a vulnerable time of need and recovery.

[LovexLife]

I came on this forum because I wanted to post the exact same thing.

My ex has been so obsessive with me, I' m frightened. Now it' s over since 3 years, the last time he tried to contact me was 5 months ago but I remain NC for one year and a half now. I don't know what to think, sometimes I' m still afraid that he would come back and harass me again.

I would like to help you Danny95, I just hope it will be ok 

[bungenstein]

I'm scared of mine too, she tried to smash a glass bottle over my head, luckily I wrestled it out of her hand and threw it in a bush.

She ran at me once trying to hit me, so I diverted her onto the bed, literally using her momentum to divert her course of movement, she landed on the bed, then pretended that her ribs were broken and needed to call an ambulance, start hyperventilating and screaming, so I walked downstairs and ignored her, low and behold it stopped and she was fine.

SCARY BEHAVIOUR

[Danny95]

Thanks you guys for sharing your experiences... .while my ex was never physically abusive to me he was obviously mentally and emotionally abusive  to me... .I thank God it never went to the level of physical abuse... .I guess I got out just in time before it started... .

Idk if he is bluffing or not but he seems to be since he's been saying the same things over and over again since we broke up in late june... .I jus think that at this point he's just preying on fear... .I'm still hanging in there... .