3 years have passed

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Three years have now passed.  Finally she signed the divorce papers, and these have been lodged at court. I am now just waiting for a judge to sign them. She is getting 16% of my pension, but nothing else. No maintenance. No child support payments (I managed to keep 50% custody). Her last false CPS allegations were closed in March... .following her and her boyfriend having to enter into a written agreement with CPS regarding their behaviour towards my kids and his alcohol use. She has been relatively quiet... as my legal bills are now minimal, compared to an average £1000 per month for the first 2 years.  My friends report that I seem much happier. I have dated over the last couple of years... but have recently started dating someone I quite like. Which is probably a reflection of me being in a better place , as well as dating someone nice. (We have a mutual friend, a clinical psychologist, who assures me she has no BPD traits).

I have recommended BPD family to a few people I know.  A friend recommended it to me, and we spoke about how powerful the support is from the members of BPD Family.

It has been a while since I last logged in, which is probably a reflection that things are better. But I wanted to give an update... .and thank you for the support.  Special thanks to ForeverDad and Livdnlearned. Without BPD Family, I am not sure where I might have ended up. 

This has been the worst experience in my life by miles.  I cannot describe the pain, fear and cost. I am still recovering... .but to anyone going through this living nightmare, I hope you find the light at the end of the tunnel that I have found.

[SES]

Three years have now passed.  Finally she signed the divorce papers, and these have been lodged at court. I am now just waiting for a judge to sign them. She is getting 16% of my pension, but nothing else. No maintenance. No child support payments (I managed to keep 50% custody). Her last false CPS allegations were closed in March... .following her and her boyfriend having to enter into a written agreement with CPS regarding their behaviour towards my kids and his alcohol use. She has been relatively quiet... as my legal bills are now minimal, compared to an average £1000 per month for the first 2 years.  My friends report that I seem much happier. I have dated over the last couple of years... but have recently started dating someone I quite like. Which is probably a reflection of me being in a better place , as well as dating someone nice. (We have a mutual friend, a clinical psychologist, who assures me she has no BPD traits).

I have recommended BPD family to a few people I know.  A friend recommended it to me, and we spoke about how powerful the support is from the members of BPD Family.

It has been a while since I last logged in, which is probably a reflection that things are better. But I wanted to give an update... .and thank you for the support.  Special thanks to ForeverDad and Livdnlearned. Without BPD Family, I am not sure where I might have ended up. 

This has been the worst experience in my life by miles.  I cannot describe the pain, fear and cost. I am still recovering... .but to anyone going through this living nightmare, I hope you find the light at the end of the tunnel that I have found.

[Panda39]

Hi SES, 

I am so happy to hear the outcome of your story, I know that you share children so the ex will still be around but you have gotten through the hellish worst of it and come out the other side.  I wouldn't wish it on anyone but I think if we survive these experiences in life we are smarter and stronger for them.

I'm thrilled to hear you've met someone new (and psychologist approved  ). 

Wishing you well,
Panda39

[SES]

Hi Panda39,

Nice to hear from you! Thanks for your support and encouragement over the past couple of years! Plenty of wise words. Yes, plenty more dramas to come... .but I am better prepared for it.

I hope getting the divorce out of the way will help, as it's one less area of her exerting control over me. Plus, she has a 6months old baby with her boyfriend (affair partner)... .I'm hoping that a baby will keep her busy.

Wishing you all the best. SES