I don't know what to do

[Myfivegirls]

I have a 21 year old daughter who has been diagnosed with BPD. For the past 2 years she has wreaked havoc in our lives. She is the youngest of 5 and was adopted from Russia when she was 8. I am emotionally and physically exhausted. She was doing somewhat better but recently moved out and no longer sees her Therspist or takes any medication. She lies constantly... .she loves playing the victim and many people in our small town still see her as the poor little orphan... so now that she has moved out she has concocted a story about how we kicked her out because of a boy she likes... .and that we emotionally and even physically have abused her. My heart is broken I feel so lost

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Turkish]

Hi Myfivegirls,

I'm sorry you are going through this.  I'm an adoptee myself,  and hanging around other adoptive families as a kid,  I witnessed a lot of stories where adoptive parents struggled with their adoptive children.  No matter how much love parents show,  early childhood wounds are very serious.  How are your other four girls, are they adopted as well?

Living on a small town can be both good and bad.  I spent my teen years in a small,  rural community.  While it's good that she was diagnosed,  in order to provide a baseline,  it sounds like she is in denial of the Dx, and is "running."

What kind of contact do you have with her? We have communication tools here which can help to reduce conflict,  and may help your relationship. This can help to start: https://bpdfamily.com/parenting/02.htm

Turkish