Leaving a controlling relationship

[Lucy1028]

I am here to try to get advice to leave a controlling relationship it has been 7 years and I want out I have tried EVERYTHING! It's time to leave it's so hard though

[babyducks]

Hi Lucy



7 years is a long time.    That's quite the investment in emotional energy.   

 Can you tell us some more about what you've tried?   And how it's been for you?    Did something happen recently that has made things more difficult?

Deciding to leave a relationship is a tough decision,... .choosing the path and how to walk through it the best way possible is something we talk about here.     How can we help?

'ducks

[Lucy1028]

Yes well he always puts me down . I'm ALWAYS the bad guy dining something wrong. He will Tell me not to put my head up... or don't talk to people ... keeep my head down! Because I'm very friendly and he's not. I have no one in my life anymore because for some reason or another they aren't good for me . I can move back to my mothers house today if I want too and that's what I want it's just a lot of ENERGY I will need to have to have that talk. He is a miserable person and I'm the opposite but lately I'm turning into him. It's horrible I want to leave now

[I_Am_The_Fire]

I hear you. Being with someone who is controlling and negative can really drain your energy. I was with someone like that for twenty years. It was far from easy and very exhausting, but I managed to leave and I never regretted it. I felt isolated and alone until I reached out to my friends and family and explained to them what was going on. I was amazed just how many people rallied to support me even though I hadn't talked with them in quite some time due to his controlling nature. Having their support, helped a lot. You mentioned going to your mother's place. It's a start. Maybe try reaching out to your friends. They may actually be supportive if they know what is going on. We tried marital counseling but it didn't work. He just got worse. I put myself in therapy and that helped me a lot.

If you have made up your mind about leaving, I would suggest taking it one step at a time. Work out what you need to do in order to leave and prioritize it. I think there is a saying that you can't pour from an empty cup.  Some times you need to do what you need to do to take care of yourself and let everyone else worry about themselves.

I also agree with what babyducks wrote too. Please let us know how we can help. I haven't been on this forum long but everyone seems really nice, supportive, and helpful.