Many people, disordered or not, go to therapy and don't improve at all.

[once removed]

Therapy is no magic cure. There is no guarantee of improvement in the patient.

Some people go to therapy to change their partner or get validation that they are right. The therapist can fall into this trap as well.

Some go just to be soothed and work through depression and anxiety.

Some people find a therapist that takes a client at face value, and validates the invalid in the process. A case of bad triangulation vs good.

Going to therapy without commitment and willingness to self examine is a lot like joining Jenny Craig Weight loss program without being willing to change their diet.

[Skip]

The reality of therapy is sobering. There are a large number of failures in all aspects and disorders.

From a practical point of view, what is the constructive message we can take from this? What differentiates those who fail from those who succeed (and I an including us)?

To support once removed's comments... .

To summarize, after taking a hard look at relapse rates, our current best estimate is that for about 35% of couples, marital therapy is effective in terms of clinically significant, immediate changes, but that after year about 30 to 50% of lucky couples who made the initial games relapse.

Typically, the success rate nationally for VA alcohol rehab program is about 30 percent.
https://www.milwaukee.va.gov/services/Addiction_programs_and_treatment.asp

Here is an editorial on STEPPS, a 20 week program that can be used in additional to DBT or other behavioral therapies. DBT programs are often a year (once a week).   Usually there is some general talk therapy too... .no question that this is expensive and intensive process.

This editorial reports 40% of patients with borderline personality disorder remit (remission) after 2 years, with 88% no longer meeting Diagnostic Interview for Borderlines—Revised or DSM-III-R criteria after 10 years
Editorial
Augmenting Psychotherapy for Borderline Personality Disorder: The STEPPS Program
Kenneth R. Silk, M.D.

[Learning_curve74]

Everybody's behavior is shaped by their genetics and their experiences, and as we have no method of time travel to choose different parents nor change the past events of our lives, we have to live with the fact that we can only change through internal desire coupled with extensive reformatting of our patterns of behavior.

Unfortunately, our behavior is linked strongly to our emotions and it is very difficult to reformat our emotional responses. It may be important to slow things down, the famous tactic of "taking a breath" or "counting to ten". That gives us a bit of time for our innate heightened emotional responses to level off a bit before we do something rash. Then it takes practice, practice, practice to alter unhealthy behaviors to more healthy ones.

I've met a number of drug addicts and the ones who are recovered addicts (as opposed to currently using) always showed a high level of self examination and the willingness to be admit being wrong.

[Turkish]

 Someone comes to therapy and looks helpless and blames the world and only wants to come to get better.

Or maybe an individual seeks therapy if only for support and how to cope.  

My mother (depression, BPD, PTSD, etc.) told me she went through seven therapists in the 90s before she found one she could trust.  I know she wanted to get better,  but she was limited because she limited herself, or was only capable of getting "just that much better" in order to cope with life.  

I lucked out with my T, despite being biased against the Therapist Industrial Complex (*sarcasm*) due to being thrown under the bus when my mother forced me into family therapy when I was 13.

Therapists are people,  too. We've had members relate that their pwBPD were therapists... .

I'm glad that your experience turned out well.  For anybody hesitant to try talking to someone, I'd encourage not being turned off by a bad first experience. Try again.  There are a lot of caring professionals out there with whom you can build trust and heal.  

[Harley Quinn]

Rapport is a huge part of successful therapy.  I think you can quickly tell if a person is on the right wavelength for your needs, and I also think I hear roberto suggesting that some with PDs are going through the motions of therapy, sort of playing the game without wanting to face harsh realities.  Commitment is a necessary ingredient of course.

In my experience with the NHS mental health service here in the UK, the process prior to commencement is very thorough and a lot of detailed information is taken from an individual before any potential diagnosis is given or treatment plan is devised.  I spent in total around 4 hours answering questions over the course of 2 appointments with different individuals before my CBT and psychotherapy was arranged.  Of course there are also private therapists one can walk into of your own accord for a paid service and this may be more akin to the process in the USA or elsewhere.

Love and light x