Reviewed my history in this forum

[Tired_Dad]

I found this very useful today to sort out my own emotions and to reassure myself on my current path. I went to the "find last post" selection under live discussion and read my posts that started in 2011. I have have documentation of the roller coaster that living with a BPD in the house has caused me and saw in text me saying over and over again that "I am done", "this is it", "I have nothing left" only to have been sucked into the sunshine of her attention or having life circumstances prevent a divorce.

At this time I think that I am ready. I do not see much left of the person that I once loved and after her rage and going off last night to her sister's in another state I realized how nice it was to have the bed to myself, have my son playing in the back yard, and not have to worry about when something in the house is going to get her to come out of the bedroom just to go into a rage of a perceived slight.

I am tired from her persistent low grade anger and complaining. I am done with the outbursts of rage. I cannot tolerate her arguing with our son instead of parenting him and since tomorrow is Monday I will will be contacting a lawyer and moving forward.

It is time for this to happen. I love her and care about her welfare but I feel that my presence is enabling her  behaviors and that for her and I to have any peace it's time to dissolve this union.

I have been emotionally divorced from her for quite some time now. I think this will bring the closure and allow for some semblance of structure in my own life and allow for a much greater enforcement of my boundaries.

[once removed]

you do sound exhausted, Tired_Dad.

what happened with the lawyer?

[Lucky Jim]

Hey Tired Dad, It sounds like you might be happier if you part ways.  Where do things stand at present?  What, if anything, have you decided?  LuckyJim

[Tired_Dad]

I got caught up with work today but I did reach out by email to the lawyer to set up an appointment to go over the situation.

I am pretty much resolved to end this as every time that I have agreed to give her another chance that only buys about a month of peace.

I'm being very deliberate and trying to be as non-impulsive as possible so this may take a but to get started, but I expect it to be very dramatic once it kicks off and she reacts.