Probably Don't Need to be on This Thread Anymore

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

I guess my marriage is over.

A friend sent me my H's Tinder account. I texted him that I had received the profile, noted it was a nice picture of his cat.

He wrote back: "What did u expect? Lol. No one likes a thief."

I so don't want to go through a divorce at my age. I'm in my 60s, and I've been dependent on his money for 10 years.

I'm not sure I'm devastated but I am really hurt.

[toomanydogs]

I guess my marriage is over.

A friend sent me my H's Tinder account. I texted him that I had received the profile, noted it was a nice picture of his cat.

He wrote back: "What did u expect? Lol. No one likes a thief."

I so don't want to go through a divorce at my age. I'm in my 60s, and I've been dependent on his money for 10 years.

I'm not sure I'm devastated but I am really hurt.

[flourdust]

I'm sorry to hear about that. It's always unpleasant when these sort of suspicions are confirmed.

Can I make an observation? From your posts, I've gotten the impression that your relationship is very much one of a caretaker. You write a lot about managing his needs, finances, whereabouts, etc. I don't think I've seen you post much (if at all) about love or intimacy.

Would your relationship work if you treated it as one of in-home caretaker and client? You get the money, you take care of his needs, and you each pursue your own romantic desires elsewhere, if needed. It's not the craziest arrangement we've ever seen, and it sounds like it might work for you.

[formflier]

I am sorry as well.   

I would encourage you to sit with your feelings for a while. 

Then... .work on some pragmatic problem solving.

Flourdust's idea is a good place to start.

FF