She's still so very controlling.
Do you have a court order specifying a parenting schedule? I get the feeling you don't have one.
The upside to a court order is that (1) now the Real Authority is domestic court and not your spouse, (2) court is generally "less unfair" than a controlling and obstructive spouse and (3) you know precisely what the schedule is and you both have to follow it.
The downside is that (1) courts are set up so that even when they don't verbally side with the mother, the policies and procedures often do in unwritten ways, (2) many of the mother's poor behaviors are ignored by the professionals who expect things to calm down as happens with other divorcing couples and (3) courts are glacially slow to make positive changes to an order.
If you don't have a court order yet then find yourself an experienced, problem-solving, proactive lawyer who has solid track record in court and practical strategies. Our cases are difficult and protracted, the lawyers who are used to filing forms and holding hands are not the ones for us.
One problem I see is that you're already getting just about what a typical father would get, alternate weekends and a visit or two in between. I had two temp orders. Both gave me alternate weekends and a 3 hour evening in between. It was seen as normal by the court. Fortunately what I did have was long 72 hour weekends... .from Friday 6 pm to Monday 6 pm. How long are your weekends?
Ponder what you could ask for in court to make the order less onerous. You could seek equal time, such as with a 2-2-3 schedule. (One parent has Mon-Tue overnights, the other parent has Wed-Thu overnights and the weekend of Fri-Sat-Sun overnight is alternated.) That is particularly suited for children in elementary and middle schools, many exchanges can be done going to/from school. If the court doesn't want to consider that then you could fall back to making the in-between visits overnights rather than evenings. Also, you could ask for longer weekends, such as from end of school on Fridays to beginning of school on Mondays, that's 2.5 days.
Frankly, you getting two evenings during each week is much more than I ever got in my temp orders. Part of your dismay is the unfairness or it all and her unilateral declarations. We understand that emotional impact, we experienced that too.
Of course she will claim you weren't an involved parent. Bring documentation with you detailing your substantial parenting. If there is no court order yet then the longer she has majority time during the separation then the harder it will be to undo it, an uphill struggle.
