Hi LP
I am reading recommended books and doing my own reaching out for myself so I can interact with her on a healthy level. I realize I do not have the power to make anyone get help if they don't want it. Since reaching out I have found much more peace, hope & knowledge and feel I can be more patient and understanding and not take it personally.
This is great news and is all we can do. I found that if I just focussed on my core relationship with my DS rather than the problems he started to respond to me. Slowly slowly he started to share his thoughts. We all want the same thing in life: to be loved and understood. It sounds like she's under a lot of pressure on all fronts. My DS felt so judged, overwhelmed by our expectations. I got to be a light fairy, open hearted and warm and we enjoyed it. It was good to not deal with the problems but the relationship, always with the hope that this would be a base to build on. It worked for us.
We are all different though, each family is unique. If something's not working than a change of approach is needed. I lightened up.
Is this your only granddaughter?
Lp