My Adult daughter may have BPD

[GK]

Hi Friends,

I am joining this group in the hope that I get some guidance as to how I can cope with my adult daughter who MAY have BPD.

Her therapist is convinced she is depressed and suffers from Anxiety.
She blames her father for this and wants me to divorce him.
I am constantly reminded of how bad a parent I am and how my husband and I have caused all her  all this anguish.
We have a second daughter who does not think that way. She thinks we have been good parents and does not agree with her sister.

When My husband and my other daughter spoke with their respective therapists about her, they both thought it was most likely BPD.

However, I am not able to gather the courage to suggest she gets tested and diagnosed for BPD.
Any insight or advice will be appreciated.

Thank you
GK

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[71 and Stuck]

I have an adult daughter (41) who has BPD traits but is undiagnosed and doesn't think she needs any help.  I don't dare bring up BPD but I have brought up the possibility of counseling since she's had a lot of stress in her life.  She recently became a single mom; her boyfriend left her.  She lives with me.  I thought using these events might give her something to use to get some help.  I have suspected BPD since her divorce in 2010 but didn't live with her then.  Now seeing things literally eye to eye, I feel BPD  is likely her problem.  So I agree with your wondering about how to move forward.  I hope someone here has some suggestions.

[Feeling Better]

Hello GK

You have come to the right place to get lots of help and support. There are lots of articles to read and tools that you can use for help in communicating with your daughter.

I was so relieved when I found this site, I was a mess, but when I started reading here everything fell into place, and I came to realise that my 35 year old son had traits of BPD.

I understand how you are feeling about suggesting to your daughter that she ought to get seen regarding a BPD diagnosis. From what I have read some welcome the diagnosis but others can be really insulted that you even think that they have BPD.

I used to think of different ways in which I could very gently let my son know that he needed help with the problems he was experiencing. In my naivety I thought he would get help, recover and everything would be ok. Just one problem - my uBPD son is in denial, he thinks there is nothing wrong with him, he thinks it is me who has a problem. Unless he realises that it is him who needs help there is nothing I can do except learn as much as I can about BPD and be there to offer him love and support. You can do that for your daughter too x