Wits end

[Wits-end]

I am at my wits end. I have a 20 year old daughter with BPD. She has had mental health issues since her early teens, including a severe eating disorder a few years ago. She cannot hold down her studies and struggles with work. She is emotionally volatile and immature and on occasion threatens suicide. I cannot begin to describe how much this terrifies me. I fear that she will one day do something... .She is getting therapy and appears to be improving but I am scared that at any time she could flip. I have done everything I can for her.

I would do anything for her - unfortunately this means staying in a relationship I am desperately unhappy in. I have been putting off my own life for years. I live with a partner but we have not had a sexual or romantic relationship for almost 15 years. . We have stayed together for our daughter. I thought I could do it and went without a sensual life for years. 

A few years ago I met a wondeeful woman. I love her deeply but I have had to keep our relationship secret and have not left my domestic situation. I want to be with her but feel if I leave my daughter may go through with her suicide threats. With BPD there seems no way out.

What can I do? Am I destined to stay trapped for her? If I were to leave what steps could I take to make sure she was ok? I feel I am going to die inside if I don't change something but love my daughter more than anything.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[wendydarling]

Hi Wits end

Welcome to the family, I'm glad you found us for support and sorry you are in such a difficult situation at your wits end, parents here understand, some in similar situations, you are not alone. 

Threats of suicide / suicide ideation is terrifying as you say, my 29DD was hospitalised for self harm a number of times I want to share with you things can get better with your DD in therapy and you reaching out for support. How often are the threats? When do they happen, result of anything specific? In my DD's situation the therapist firstly worked with her on her suicidal thoughts and self harm. I'd like to share this with you
Helping someone with suicidal thought

You deserve happiness, we all do, have you considered therapy for yourself, to help you work through?

I'm glad you are here with us, we care.

WDx