Hi BPDnewbie
Welcome
Being treated like that right when you are making sacrifices to help your daughter feels awful, sorry you are going through that!
I just never seem to know what to say or do as no matter what I say or do it is always the wrong thing.
Yes - I think you just nailed the essence of that book, Stop Walking on Eggshells.
One thought, perhaps asking her to pay half of the first session to show her commitment, so that both of you are investing in it? Or is there another way she can demonstrate her commitment one session at a time?
If she wants treatment that sounds positive, but yes it seems to be a key element in DBT that the client has to be fully committed. In the meantime practicing the skills at home may help a bit.
Good luck, hope it goes better