Not able to handle no contact phase

[Vent]

He is taking treatment.he wants no contact with me.im looking forward for this relation... I want to be with him,want to help him... but he doesn't want my help... n this ni contact phase becoming very hard to me... I'm taking medicine n councilling... but still there are 2-4 hrs I can not control myself... feeling very uncomfortable... whole day I'm thinking about him... jst hoping he will understand there was really not my fault n he will be come back... .Plz any advice

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Mutt]

Hi Vent,

I can relate with feel uncomfortable for periods of time. What do you do for hobbies? I like working out, it de-stresses me and boosts my mood. Do you excersise?

[Vent]

Hi mutt,
Thank u for reply,
I know all we are can empathise... in the morning I really hate to wake up n jst want to in bed... so nit exercising... n really forgot about what I like n what I want,i knw this can seem hypothetical... but it is... I'm watching seasons n movies after office work

[Tattered Heart]

I'm sorry that you are having such a hard time right now. What are you doing for yourself? Do you have any hobbies or activites you can do so that your sole focus is not on your pBPD? Any friends you could go out with? It's important that during this time apart you begin working on yourself and finding out who you are, what your needs are, and how to best take care of you.

[Vent]

Hi Tattered Heart
Thank u for rply... Actually I am not able to collect myself.whole time my mind is occupied with his thoughts n memories.watching some season to spend time... Lot of sleeping... For job purpose away from my city n home so calling to some friends.nothing more than this

[Meili]

I know that it's hard to stop thinking. I struggled with that a lot. For me, it helped to write to get the thoughts out of my head. I would post here about what I was thinking. The things that I wasn't comfortable posting about, I wrote in a notebook.

I stopped fighting myself. I stopped feeling bad about myself for having the thoughts. I just allowed them to happen. They were going to happen whether I fought myself or not, so I had to learn to let it happen and find a way to get them out of my head.

Do you think that would help you?

[Vent]

I know that it's hard to stop thinking. I struggled with that a lot. For me, it helped to write to get the thoughts out of my head. I would post here about what I was thinking. The things that I wasn't comfortable posting about, I wrote in a notebook.

I stopped fighting myself. I stopped feeling bad about myself for having the thoughts. I just allowed them to happen. They were going to happen whether I fought myself or not, so I had to learn to let it happen and find a way to get them out of my head.

Do you think that would help you?

Hi meli,
You really put very good thought about writing n let it happen... I'm also trying to write... Sometimes work.sometimes not.it will take time ... Thank you for sharing...

[Meili]

If you can tell us what is going on when it doesn't help, we might be able to provide other things that may work at those moments.

Listening to music (very loud, very angry music - others have found that different types of music help them) also helped me when the writing didn't.

Cleaning my house was another thing that I did to get the emotions out.

Mediation/prayer help people.

Another thing that greatly helped me and many people on these boards was to read the threads of others and share what we've learned and are learning. Even just an empathetic "hello" can help.