Finally just blocked her

[WhimsicalLogic]

I had hope, like many of you, when we first split that something would rekindle those great moments we shared. She had started therapy and I started to learn as much as I could about her disorder. If we both work d at it, maybe we could build a solid foundation for a healthy relationship.

But, after watching her on social media jump into a new relationship and appear to just be repeating her old patterns, I’ve decided that it’s doing me no good by keeping the avenues of communication open. Will she eventually tire of the cycle and make real attempts to get better? I hope so, but it’ll have to be without me in her life right now. She’s disassociated me in the past week and I’m not going to allow her to affect me. I blocked her on all social media to avoid the daily reminders of her and give myself the mental space for my own needs. I guess this is acceptance. This is healing.

I want to thank all of you for sharing your stories. They helped me immensely. I’m going to step away from the board for a while. I need a BPD break.

[SuperJew82]

I think you are on the right path to being happy. I hope you have a good "unplugged" break! You are right, even if she were to take therapy seriously, it would take years and years for them to learn and apply the skills needed to manage their instinctive impulses - and even after that, it wouldn't be a walk in the park. Many of us here on this forum aren't quite equipped to handle such a task. I know I was not.

Good luck my friend.

[WhimsicalLogic]

Thank you. It’s what’s best for me right now. I will always love her and care about her well being, but she’s not in a place where that is valued right now. It’s not doing either of us any good to have even a loose connection. I don’t think it’ll be easy for me, and I have no idea if she even notices or cares, but I can’t help her. Only she can do that. If she ever determines she’s really ready, I may do what I can to support her, but I can’t be dragged under the water if she’s drowning and not even trying to swim.

[Hisaccount]

Glad you are doing better.

Blocking and no contact are huge steps in the healing process. That is a train you do not want to be on.

Just because you love or care for someone doesn't mean you should or can be with them.

[WhimsicalLogic]

Thank you. It’s going to be a long road, I think. She behavior wasn’t nearly as extreme as others have experienced, but just when I felt we were truly being open with each other, she had to push me away. It’s those near-breakthrough moments that’s will stick with me for a while. So close, but just not enough to make it stick. A piece of me still thinks we could make it if we both committed to it, but I’m working very hard on letting that go. Removing her from my peripheral feels like a good first step.