Setting boundaries with grown BPD child

[fiercemama]

Hello.  First time posting.
My daughter, 27, BPD/anorexia/w seizures is living with me.  We share a small 2 bedroom apartment in NYC.  She has very good psychiatric and therapeutic support, but the chaos is overwhelming for me right now.  After reading every book I can get my hands on about BPD, I have lowered the level of conflict remarkably, but I feel extremely manipulated regarding sharing household chores.  I do everything, including meals, and she does nothing.  Seems small, but I"m trying to create and maintain some sort of life of my own, and I"m feeling consumed.
Any advice from anyone who's had this issue, and dealt with it well?
My heart goes out to you all.

 

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[mybabygirl23]

I so wish i had words of wisdom for you but i don't. What I can tell you is that you are not alone. I allowed my now 21 year old to move back in with me for a year hoping it would help her, but in retrospective I think I enabled her more than I meant to. When our lease ended I found a new place to live, as did she. She is not doing well - daily ups and downs but i know i have to have boundaries or she will never try to find ways to manage her BPD. 

You are not alone - hang in there!