which one of us do you think is the most difficult to live with

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

I agree with polaris9. Yes I'm sure we've contributed greatly to problems we've experience with our BPD partner. However, my wife has used me as a punching bag over the years and I've never understood where the anger of this came from for the most part. I know it's the BPD that caused it, but it hurt nonetheless.

Let me put it this way; I'm a very simple husband. My emotions are normally pretty calm and basic. I don't get overly excited about anything and just let things that bother me roll off my back. I normally play with the cards I'm dealt and don't complain much or at all.

On the other hand my BPD wife is easy to get mad, I'm not allowed to disagree with her without her getting defensive, she uses black & white thinking and emotion-based thinking, I can't talk to her about issues that are important to me without her getting upset, and she is a very serious person all the time. To make things worse she has been turning our kids against me for years as a defence mechanism related to her BPD. This last one was confirmed by our 21 year old daughter less than a year ago.

Now let me ask, which one of us do you think is the most difficult to live with?

I rest my case.    

[WildernessMan]

I agree with polaris9. Yes I'm sure we've contributed greatly to problems we've experience with our BPD partner. However, my wife has used me as a punching bag over the years and I've never understood where the anger of this came from for the most part. I know it's the BPD that caused it, but it hurt nonetheless.

Let me put it this way; I'm a very simple husband. My emotions are normally pretty calm and basic. I don't get overly excited about anything and just let things that bother me roll off my back. I normally play with the cards I'm dealt and don't complain much or at all.

On the other hand my BPD wife is easy to get mad, I'm not allowed to disagree with her without her getting defensive, she uses black & white thinking and emotion-based thinking, I can't talk to her about issues that are important to me without her getting upset, and she is a very serious person all the time. To make things worse she has been turning our kids against me for years as a defence mechanism related to her BPD. This last one was confirmed by our 21 year old daughter less than a year ago.

Now let me ask, which one of us do you think is the most difficult to live with?

I rest my case.