what if your BPD son punches you on the shoulder.

[making it better]

I don't know how to deal with my son.  When he gets mad, he has punched me in the arm.  This is the second time.  He is away at college so I feel like I should not see him until he goes to counseling to understand that he can't do that.  Any advice?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Kwamina]

Hi making it better

I am very sorry you are having to deal with your son's anger and physically violent behavior. Is your son also verbally violent? Is he just violent with you or with people in general?

Since you have come to this site, I assume you believe your son might have BPD or at the least exhibits BPD traits. Has your son perhaps been diagnosed with any kind of mental, emotional and/or behavioral disorder?

You also mention counseling, is your son planning to get counseling or were you just speaking hypothetically?

I am glad you've come here for support an advice. Take care and welcome to our online community

The Board Parrot

[incadove]

Hi makingitbetter

You have a right to be physically safe.  I strongly believe its better for all of you if there is a very firm boundary around physical aggression, and it absolutely makes sense to me to insist that he take some action before seeing you again if he has been physically aggressive.  Counseling is a logical one.  I think if there is a firm boundary against physical aggression and he knows there will be a consequence he is less likely to do it again.

He probably does have a lot of emotional pain and once he's shown willingness to take steps not to be aggressive physically if you have a way to work that through with him or give him positive feedback hopefully that can heal a little.  But definitely you need to be safe first.