Trying to cope with other problems in life along with a BPD daughter

[Tac]

Hi,
New here and I'll admit straight away, I haven't read much on here yet. Came across the site while doing the usual searches for help.
I'll keep this as brief as I can but am afraid it will still be a long post.

I am, and always have been, a single parent to my only child, a daughter now diagnosed with BPD, 19 years old and recently moved into her own place.
Right now what I'm struggling with is juggling her needs with everything else that is going on.
My mother has Alzheimer's, lived with dad until 2 weeks ago when he decided he couldn't cope any longer and she was moved to a home. I live 5 mins drive away from them and see them most days, take them shopping, docs appts etc. Obviously it's a hard time, trying to settle mam into a home and look after dad.
Then a week ago my brother, who lives abroad, face timed me to tell me his wife's brother had gone missing. Anyway, long story short, he had killed himself.
Brother is really struggling and obviously his wife and children too.
So I have my brother to support, my dad, mam and daughter too.

all this would be hard enough to cope with without my dd's constant demands for attention. So hard to get her to understand that not only do I have to spend time with other people,but I am struggling too.

Any suggestions? Dd is very empathetic with everyone else but expects me to be available 24/7, "I am her mother after all."

Thanks for listening to my rant,
Tac x

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[babyoctopus]

Hello 

So sorry you have to deal with all these heartbreaking events.  I have had to deal with BPD in my life too, finally got the courage to leave BPD husband of 23 years, and now my 17 y.o. daughter i exhibiting symptoms of it too! I am just trying to take it day by day, that's all you can do.

 Good advice I got was: you have to place the oxygen mask on yourself before  you can help anyone else. That includes kids. Its hard, and I stumble, but we have to make the time to take care of ourselves too. Otherwise we are no good for us, or for them.

Take care, know you are not alone. This is a great site, and helped me so much through the years. Now I'm back again to deal with BPD again.