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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: Has anyone ever hooked up with there ex BPD or NPD after custody was over.  (Read 378 times)
Newyoungfather
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 248


« on: October 29, 2017, 07:51:51 PM »

Hello Everyone,
This is a question that has been on my mind.  Lately my ex uBPD has been mirroring me via the way I talk and such.  It seems like shes been dressing very provocative and been trying to get my attention even though she has a boyfriend.  I am in no way shape or form going to recycle with her, BUT I'm curious, is this common?
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Turkish
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Other
Relationship status: "Divorced"/abandoned by SO in Feb 2014; Mother with BPD, PTSD, Depression and Anxiety: RIP in 2021.
Posts: 12179


Dad to my wolf pack


« Reply #1 on: October 29, 2017, 11:10:54 PM »

My asked asked to come back last spring.  Long story short, I said no.  She was seperated, but still married.  It wasn't to me,  but because she wanted to be with the kids more.  After hey focus on her spouse waned, she sought out the connection with the kids to soothe her.  It was sad that day to see the kids crying,  begging her to stay,  and she crying as she was driving away. I got her text half an hour later. 

She admitted that she had been thinking about it for many months.  I got the "let's hang out more" vibe,  but never that she wanted to return.  She didn't pull the sexy act on me.  She'd never admit it,  but I provided financial stability as well. 

Who knows what's going on in your case? I was tempted for a little while,  and could have made it happen (except for adultery, or at least the appearance thereof, which would have been ironic).

I picked the kids up today at her new apartment,  the fourth on less then four years,  each move except this one due to her impulsivity and not thinking things through.  I don't need this back in my life. 
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