Newbie

[counsel68]

I have a daughter with BPD.
I am 49. I have a degree in Corrections and Psychology.
I counsel people part time but as for dealing with BPD in my own child... .I'm useless.
I use cbt and dbt with my clients but I'm a useless person with my own daughter.
I am so tired.  I give up

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Lollypop]

Hey counsel68

We’ve got two threads. Shall we talk on this one?

How old is your child and do they live at home?

You’re completely right about all our skills and reasoning flying out the window with our own kids. It’s exhausting and scary. Hugs to you.

LP

[mom2ela]

I can relate to how you feel. I'm a social worker. I feel so helpless when it comes to my on ds. I try to remind my self that it is different. However, there are days that I just feel so sad that I fall short with my own child. I think this part is especially difficult when you are in a helping profession. You are not alone.

[counsel68]

Thank you both so much.
Any encouragement I can get is much appreciated! 

[counsel68]

My daughter is 30. So I can't make her get help.
She has forbidden me from seeing my grandson because she is in her hating me phase. My heart is so defeated. 

[JustYouWait]

as for dealing with BPD in my own child... .I'm useless.

Don't confuse "helpless" with "useless".

You are NOT useless.  You are at the mercy of someone with a severe mental disorder.  Someone with all the power right now.  That makes you helpless, NOT useless.

And you are not alone.

[Lollypop]

Hi counsel

I’m so sorry to hear about you not being able to see your grandson. That must be incredibly painful. There’s many in the forum in a no contact situation and with grandchildren too and it’s very tough.

How old is he and when did you last see them?

Hugs

LP