2 months post settlement conference and trial and still no signed court order

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Over 2 months ago DH and his BPDxw had a settlement conference and settled about 2/3 of the issues. Meaning that at the end of this conference there was a court order written up for 2/3 of the issues. There were 2 small issues they could not agree upon which went to trial the next day. The judge made the ruling and less then 50 min later they were all done and out of court. Judge ordered opposing counsel to write up court order.

This was over 2 months ago! And we still have not received a signed document from the opposing counsel. Our lawyer says that all efforts to contact him have gone by without any response. Our L has now filed a court date "for no cause" to ask that she can finish writing this document.

Now, we know from our L that opposing counsel burned up all his fire and energy in getting BPDxw to settle to anything. Our L told us after settlement conference that the opposing counsel told her he was burnt out from his difficult client. (heck... .we sure all know how that feels like!)
But still... what is the holdup? The document was basically done by the end of the day? Has BPDxw stopped paying her lawyer and he now refuses to do anything? Is BPDxw the one trying to hold out the process?

It is just soo annoying!

[soundofmusicgirl]

Over 2 months ago DH and his BPDxw had a settlement conference and settled about 2/3 of the issues. Meaning that at the end of this conference there was a court order written up for 2/3 of the issues. There were 2 small issues they could not agree upon which went to trial the next day. The judge made the ruling and less then 50 min later they were all done and out of court. Judge ordered opposing counsel to write up court order.

This was over 2 months ago! And we still have not received a signed document from the opposing counsel. Our lawyer says that all efforts to contact him have gone by without any response. Our L has now filed a court date "for no cause" to ask that she can finish writing this document.

Now, we know from our L that opposing counsel burned up all his fire and energy in getting BPDxw to settle to anything. Our L told us after settlement conference that the opposing counsel told her he was burnt out from his difficult client. (heck... .we sure all know how that feels like!)
But still... what is the holdup? The document was basically done by the end of the day? Has BPDxw stopped paying her lawyer and he now refuses to do anything? Is BPDxw the one trying to hold out the process?

It is just soo annoying!

[Panda39]

Glad your lawyer is following up... .but man that is totally frustrating to have to go back to court just to get someone else to uphold their end of the task at hand.  Apparently the opposing counsel is a "professional"... .not so much   

Hang in there, all I can say is I learned a lot about how dysfunctional our legal system can be by having a SO with and uBPDw, it sounds like you're getting a taste of that too.

The key is to don't give up.

Panda39

[livednlearned]

This might be a silver lining!

My L always offered to write the order -- she said it's treated as a courtesy between counsel, but that there can be advantages.

Like making sure it gets done 

I also liked that she shared the draft with me so I could see what was going to be submitted, before the judge signed the final order. More than a few times she added language about what would happen if the orders weren't followed.

That saved me a lot of money when I had to (inevitably) go back to court, because the judge could read the pre-arranged consequences for non-compliance. We didn't have to dither around to see what third and fourth chances the judge gave n/BPDx.

[david]

I like lnl's suggestion. Have your attorney write and give it to the judge. Make sure it says everything you want it to say. Two months is more than a reasonable time to wait. 

[ForeverDad]

I agree with LnL and david, determine if your lawyer can write it up.  Make sure you have a transcript or recording of what the judge ordered so your lawyer's work can't be successfully contested.  (It's okay to tweak the language to close loopholes and tidy up vague language, it's up to the other side to complain if they don't like your version.)  After years in and out of domestic court my bailiff was used to me requesting a copy of the court's recording of the "on record" proceedings.

Around here it's standard recommendation to have your lawyer write up verbal decisions.  You just can't trust the other lawyer to give order-writing the same care and attention you and your lawyer can provide.  And as you found out, limit the delays.  It can even save money by avoiding the back and forth between lawyers when the other side writes up lousy, vague or incorrect language that you then have to contest.

[david]

My ex filed a protection order against me. It was the second of three. I had an issue because I picked our boys up at her place and she would not allow them to bring their schoolbags with them. It had nothing to do with the protection order which was a big nothing on ex's part. I suggested through my attorney that I pick the boys up at their school instead of her place. This way I could not scare her/ frighten her/threaten her/whatever. The judge liked the idea and asked ex. She knew she could not object and agreed. I immediately told my attorney we needed something in writing right then and there. My attorney wrote it up on her legal pad and handed it to the judge. The judge looked it over, and gave it to ex to look at. We signed it and the judge signed it too. A few days later I went to the school to pick our boys up. Ex had contacted the school and convinced them I was not allowed to pick them up without her expressed consent. I had a copy of the handwritten order ready. They questioned the order since it was handwritten. I told them to fax it to their legal dept. I walked out with our boys around 10 minutes later.
If I didn't have an order in my hand it would have not happened that day. I use the court order as a boundary for my ex.