New Here...Daughter Started Residential DBT Treatment

[jabmom]

I never thought I would feel relief when a psychiatrist confirmed that my daughter has BPD, that probably sounds odd. One of the very first doctors who saw her over a year ago after an episode of self-harm led to her first hospitalization mentioned "BPD traits", but due to her age a diagnosis was not made. Instead she has acquired a variety of diagnoses, including Bipolar, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, ADHD and Most recently PTSD. I am in the mental health field myself, and did my research; the endless diagnoses and medications my daughter has been through and on have not helped her manage her life any differently. Many of you probably know these  diagnoses lead to a LOT of medications, none without side effects which have severely affected her. The roller coaster ride we have been on has included 8 inpatient acute hospitalizations, 4 outpatient hospitalizations, a long list of medications, countless therapy sessions and therapists, a recent self harm episode and subsequent hospitalization led to a long term residential DBT treatment facility (where she, naturally,  feels she doesn't really need to be). Our family has endured a lot, as all of you likely have as well, and what we hope to find feedback on how to best support her in her treatment and after,  while gaining knowledge on how avoid manipulation all over again in the process once she returns from the program. We have three other children, all of our kids are teens/young adults, and we struggle to maintain a balance with them and our family. Our BPD daughter has burned many bridges over the past few years and now relies heavily on parents/grandparents. We feel we have found a facility that will be able to provide the treatment she needs in the setting and with the specifications her medical professionals have all recommended, but it still tugs at our hearts and takes a lot to tell her she can't be at home, that it isn't safe.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[MidnightRunner]

Hi there. My heart goes out to you. I'm not sure I really have any words of wisdom but I saw a lot of my daughter in your post. My daughter, too, has been through multiple hospitalizations, meds and therapists. She's still inpatient at the moment but my sense is that she may be headed to RTC if she cannot agree to contract for safety upon discharge and for now, she refuses to. Suicidal ideation and plans, for her, are a coping mechanism that she is not willing to abandon. I'm glad you have found a facility that feels like the right fit for your daughter right now. And I agree it is SO hard to stay strong and keep her there. But you're doing the right thing. One thing I'm learning is that as parents, we want so much to see our children well that we often default to nurturing mode, which prevents our kids from relying on themselves in order to learn how to manage in this world. My daughter has grown emotionally dependent on her friends to shower her with support and love every time she reaches out in distress. It has prevented her from relying on herself. Stay strong, jabmom. I'm totally in your corner!