Hello: my first post

[AnnaleiaMe]

I have been looking for a community of people who I can share mutual help and support with.
My adult son has been diagnosed with complex PTSD and "strong indicators of BPD". Doctors are reluctant to give an actual diagnosis, but he is virtually "textbook" BPD.
We have been struggling to get him help since he was in elementary school, up to and including foster care. He recently tried committing suicide (had only done self-harming previously). We are trying very hard to maintain boundaries for our safety and wellbeing as much as his.
Right now I am very anxious and wondering if he will ever be able to function well enough to hold down a job, feel secure, and cope with everyday life.
I hope that I can connect with other parents here who can help me learn ways to support my son while also caring for myself and my grandchildren!
Thanks in advance!
AnnaleiaMe

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Wolfsocks]

Annaleia, that sounds like a very tough situation and I am sorry to hear the situation has gotten worse despite your best efforts since his childhood. I also have a pwBPD in my life (my former partner) and drawing boundaries in her case has already been hard - I can't imagine how painful it must be with your own child.

Knowing the diagnosis has been helpful for me. In the past I used to take everything personally. Now when things spiral out of control I try to remind myself: "Jup, that's splitting - and that's the complete lack of impulse control. And now she's emotionally blackmailing me which is breaking my heart - but going down with her won't help anyone."

I am glad you found this place. From my experience so far the people are very supportive and there are great resources no matter what stage and situation you are in.

So welcome  

[wendydarling]

Hi Annaleia

I join Wolfsocks welcome to bpdfamily parents board, I'm glad you've found us, you've come to the right place for support, parents and grandparents here understand the difficult situation you are dealing with, you are not alone. Posting and learning from the resources helps us better understand our situation and what changes we can make. Small steps work for me. How old is your son? You say there is reluctance to diagnose though he is virtually textbook. Have they explained to you why? Some Drs are reluctant to diagnose till they reach 18 and present 5 or more of the 9 criteria. How do you think your son might receive the diagnosis, some find it helpful like my 29DD.

I can understand you are anxious about the future right now, many parents here are working towards supporting our children being able to manage their BPD and find a life that works for them.

You've found the right place 

WDx