Having a 21 yr old daughter with BPD.

[Exhaustedmum58]

Hello peeps!  I am a mom of 4 grown children. Ranging from 35 to 21.  I have 4 beautiful grandchildren, 3 girls 1 boy, ranging from 13yrs to 2.

I have a beautiful daughter, the youngest, 22 in February.  She has BPD.

 I am married, but living like a single mum.
I have no support in helping my daughter with BPD. My children, and husband havent a clue about BPD.  It seems they dont even want to know.
They have the perception that their sibling is a manipulator, and a selfish adult, that has tantrums of self sabotage, self abuse and rage when she doesn't get her own way.

I feel like I am doing all the work, taxiing her to her little 3hr, 2 times a week bar job, 2hr round trip from my home. 3am pick up,  drop her to her home, 1hr from me. 2 -3hr. Round trip again.  I am soo tired... .

I get abused, hit, spat on sworn at  even had my nose broken by her.  I understand it is the BPD, I try not to take it personally.  I love her, want to help her and am looking for how I can do so. 

I am becoming more concious of her triggers, even just opening my mouth is a trigger. I have to just shut up, and let her do all the talking, it is so frustrating for me to. Dangerous to say one word when driving, the steering wheel has been ripped from my grasp, or a punch in the face.

I am searching for help,for her and the whole family unit.  I just want her to function in a happy way, I want to see her love herself, and accept love. She is intelligent, caring, sweet, an absolute delight when all is good.  HELP! Exhausted mum in Australia.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Wanttounderstand]

Sorry to hear your all too familiar story. This is what many of us on this board are dealing with. Is your daughter open to Meds and DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy). That seems to be the treatment that works most effectively.

I understand the daily turmoil you live in and how unfair it seems that she would treat you that way. My BPD daughter has disappeared and we haven't heard from her in six months. I've texted a few times with no response.

At least we know we are not the monsters they portray us to be and many other good parents on this site are being treated the same way.

[Worried4Son]

I'm new here too and I'm so sorry to feel your pain.  I'm exhausted and seriously hope that we can get the help we need.  My husband is supportive but doesn't really understand and my Son can be so hurtful to me emotionally and I actually think I'm depressed.  I'm getting some counselling but it's not started as yet.  This group is fantastic and I now don't feel quite so alone.

Remember you are a good Mum! x