19 year old Son in crisis

[Worried4Son]

I'm totally exhausted.  My Son has shown 'odd behaviours' for a couple of years or more.  He is almost 20 and was working in a good job however last week he was dismissed as a result of inappropriate social behaviours including dropping his trousers to women in the workplace after finishing work ( in a pub)  He states he was drunk and so were they and that he doesn't remember.  After hearing the shock news of his dismissal he actively sought to commit suicide and was helped by some police officers who took him to the Mental health hospital where we live.  I was contacted at work by a CPN who was highly concerned for his welfare.  He has since been assessed and will be seeing a Psychiatrist next week.

I have been reading around the subject and my Son is so hard to deal with.  He falls out with me and his siblings all the time.  He is currently living with his Dad who also struggles with his behaviours.  I do think his Dad may also have a degree of BPD as he too struggles to maintain relationships. I currently can't sleep and have a permanent headache.  I can see that my Son is deeply depressed and not eating or sleeping.  I'm so worried for him and no idea if he will admit he has a problem as he doesn't seem to see it.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[incadove]

Hi Worried4Son

That is flat out terrifying.  :)o you think that this crisis could be an opportunity for your son to accept the need for therapy and some change?  I know some DBT therapists say they have to wait until the patient hits bottom and becomes really committed to change.    I don't know if you have resources or if the government would provide inpatient care.  :)id he say if he and they were taking other drugs as well as drinking?  

When I am very afraid of my dd experimenting with drugs I don't know what to do, but I try to let her know how afraid I am of anything happening to her.  I want her to know that it does matter to me.  My dd is right now not going to school or working, she says she is working on healing herself but is using 'molly' to do it.  This really scares me, she tells me it helps her but I am very afraid of it leading to other things or damaging her permanently.  

Please take care of yourself, and know you can only do so much.  Once you have done all you can its important to do self care and stay strong for the next thing you might need to do.  Spending time with friends and even enjoying yourself is ok even if your son is hurting because you have to be in it for the long run.  

Let him know how proud you were of him holding down that job, and maybe help him see that if he can just fix the substance issues that let to this behavior he could go back to work and build his life forward.  Since alcohol was involved could he join an AA group?  I hear that AA is very human and supportive and might help him in other ways.

':)ry' by Augusten Burroughs is a funny book that might be a good read about going off alcohol after an abusive childhood.  Its quite serious but is easy to read and funny at the same time as it is serious.  It might be a healing read.

Very glad you posted, please let us know how it goes.