Not so sure if I was victim of a BPD person?

[Depression = 72% of members]

I've been in an unoffical relationship for about 1.5 years. In the beginning things were great but she immediately said she doesn't want to commit because she was afraid of people abandoning her. I still stuck by her side for about a month until I noticed her going out with other guys. Thats when I told her I couldn't do this. She cried and told me that this is what usually happens. I was offended that she couldn't see my point of view so I walked away and thats when she started seeing a new guy. I still had her on social media and I always saw her get tagged in post with him. They were happy and I let it be. A month later she crawls into my messenger and tells me she really has missed me and if we could hangout. I agreed. I come to find out that the new guy she was talking to left on deployment. I asked her about it and she said that they were just friends. Well, slowly we started talking again until we were in an unofficial relationship again. She could never call me her boyfriend for her own reasons, even though everybody knew about us.  Well time passes and it was just one big rollercoaster with her. She was always down about things, her family didn't understand and everything had to be done her way. Her military friend comes back and I guess he didn't know much about me and her. But he broke contact with her. After this she started to get distant and tell me how she messed ups in life. I was so confused why she thought all this was okay. I confronted her about it and she said that she has feelings for me and thats why she didn't pursue the other guy but that he was still a good friend. Well, after that she meets a new guy friend and the same thing happens again. Except this time it was worse. I couldn't meet him but she would always talk about how he was such a nice guy. Then they started hanging out more. Then it got to the point where I got fed up that she wasn't being honest with me. Every time I asked if something was up. Its been about 2 weeks since I've talked to her cause I wasn't willing to go through this again. Last night she came over for her birthday because e she couldn't stand anybody and she just cuddled with me all night. Then she left early this morning and her new guy friend tags her in post about how she's the perfect girlfriend. I  told her that I see whats going on now and she says "so you're just gonna stop talking to me?"... .stuff like this has drained me so much, I can't even function or have a nice evening with my friends or concentrate in school. Is it me (cause I've been nothing but faithful to her) or does she have something? I can't really tell cause she doesn't see a problem with this new guy and talking to me too.

[TACO615]

I've been in an unoffical relationship for about 1.5 years. In the beginning things were great but she immediately said she doesn't want to commit because she was afraid of people abandoning her. I still stuck by her side for about a month until I noticed her going out with other guys. Thats when I told her I couldn't do this. She cried and told me that this is what usually happens. I was offended that she couldn't see my point of view so I walked away and thats when she started seeing a new guy. I still had her on social media and I always saw her get tagged in post with him. They were happy and I let it be. A month later she crawls into my messenger and tells me she really has missed me and if we could hangout. I agreed. I come to find out that the new guy she was talking to left on deployment. I asked her about it and she said that they were just friends. Well, slowly we started talking again until we were in an unofficial relationship again. She could never call me her boyfriend for her own reasons, even though everybody knew about us.  Well time passes and it was just one big rollercoaster with her. She was always down about things, her family didn't understand and everything had to be done her way. Her military friend comes back and I guess he didn't know much about me and her. But he broke contact with her. After this she started to get distant and tell me how she messed ups in life. I was so confused why she thought all this was okay. I confronted her about it and she said that she has feelings for me and thats why she didn't pursue the other guy but that he was still a good friend. Well, after that she meets a new guy friend and the same thing happens again. Except this time it was worse. I couldn't meet him but she would always talk about how he was such a nice guy. Then they started hanging out more. Then it got to the point where I got fed up that she wasn't being honest with me. Every time I asked if something was up. Its been about 2 weeks since I've talked to her cause I wasn't willing to go through this again. Last night she came over for her birthday because e she couldn't stand anybody and she just cuddled with me all night. Then she left early this morning and her new guy friend tags her in post about how she's the perfect girlfriend. I  told her that I see whats going on now and she says "so you're just gonna stop talking to me?"... .stuff like this has drained me so much, I can't even function or have a nice evening with my friends or concentrate in school. Is it me (cause I've been nothing but faithful to her) or does she have something? I can't really tell cause she doesn't see a problem with this new guy and talking to me too.

[Zen606]

Hi Taco615
It sounds like you have seen many red flags in this relationship that have left you in much pain.  My question for you is why are you letting her destroy you?  What are you getting out of it?
Zen606