What is this about? What is he not complying with?
Our daughter told her SS teacher about a physically abusive incident with her dad. Since I was the director of education at the time, I reported it to the senior pastor, a mandated reporter; they didn't report it to cps. A few months after the discussion, their overseer sent out a child protection policy for the churches.
Was this after you left to go somewhere else to worship? Are you a member of a new church? What were they wanting you to do or "comply" with? Did they put that in writing?
It was recently; I have been away from that church for a couple of years, worshiping elsewhere - as the pastor suggested I do. They want me to let them 'talk with' my therapist or the friend who I'm relying on heavily for advice regarding our marriage (they claim it is obvious that I'm doing this). Ultimately, they want us to talk through our 'issues' with someone else; the senior pastor has been suggested as the third party. They also want to approve the outside counselor. I have this in an email, so yes, it is in writing.
-- My husband goes to them for advice about our marriage - often agreeing to things with me and then going to them and claiming that they tell him not to do whatever he had agreed to. He thinks they have "God's words" for our marriage, but their advice isn't 'fixing' our marriage.
-- My husband's progress toward becoming a pastor is contingent on us talking through our issues and completing a marriage evaluation.
-- When other pastors have been 'involved' in our marriage, it has destabilized our marriage, and h has become threatening towards me. H usually decides to leave the church in the aftermath.
-- Also, there is history of physical violence along with other forms of abuse, especially economic. This makes marriage counseling unethical - I have many friends who are mental health professionals who have said this, as well as my former counselors. The pastor of my church values mental health professionals and supports their recommendations.
My current goal is to keep my relationship with my h at least not adversarial.
Where was his focus before? I'm assuming this was unhelpful. Can you explain a bit more.
He was distressed and anxious about my detached contact and seeming lack of emotional connection with him - along with the financial pressures that have resulted from his quitting his job a year ago with no plan forward.
It would seem that you have more troublesome leadership at church than I do
Lol. Seems that way. Of course, I'm the disobedient and rebellious wife.