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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: Haven't heard from her all day...  (Read 540 times)
Emotions
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 208


« on: January 17, 2018, 05:50:16 PM »

Hello all, I have recently been talking to my ex BPD again... .as you may know this can mean quite a bit some days. Spent a lot of time on FaceTime and even have visited her 3 times... .we have been rekindling our friendship, and it has been mostly positive. I do feel like the days are going faster than when we weren't speaking, so I'm trying to figure out what is best, and my theory at the moment is to let nature take its course with us, and accentuate the positive of either outcome... .I am posting because I haven't heard from her all day today, and this is odd based on how we have been connecting lately. She did just get a new job and she works late hours, but I'm curious at this point as to why she hasn't called or texted... .anyway just need to connect with my BPD family as I'm sure a lot of you may experience similar curiosities from time to time, and I'm just hoping for encouraging words of wisdom or just a keep moving from someone... .thanks, peace
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Cat Familiar
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
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« Reply #1 on: January 17, 2018, 06:41:52 PM »

Are you recycling or hoping for a recycle?
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“The Four Agreements  1. Be impeccable with your word.  2. Don’t take anything personally.  3. Don’t make assumptions.  4. Always do your best. ”     ― Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom
Lucky Jim
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
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« Reply #2 on: January 18, 2018, 04:13:37 PM »

I wouldn't project too much here about what it means that you haven't heard from her today.  Instead, I suggest that you relax and assume that she's having a busy day at her new job.  I'm sure you'll hear from her at some point.  Perhaps you could take your own advice, as follows:

Excerpt
my theory at the moment is to let nature take its course with us, and accentuate the positive of either outcome... .

Keep us posted!

LuckyJim
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    A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.
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