Platonic Co Parent

[socketrocket99]

Hello - I am looking for online support for a situation I am currently in. I entered into a platonic co-parenting arrangement and recently welcoming my bundle of joy into the world. The mother of my child and I have known each other professionally for years, but really started to get to know each other over 2017. After some major changes in her life, and me spending time/moving in with her because of the child, I have seen traits of BPD exhibited over the last 5 months. As a part of our arrangement, we plan to live together for the first year and then split custody 50/50. A contract was pulled together but now she is essentially stonewalling the movement of the contract. Any time I ask for anything, she refuses to discuss and digs in her heels. Any recommendations on how to make a breakthrough for the sake of the child?

Thanks!

[ForeverDad]

A lot depends on how your state, province or even country would handle the legal issues.  Some of this would be dependent on legal advice and related strategies.  For example, I've heard unmarried birth mothers in Georgia have default preference over the father to a great extent.  Is there a father that is or could become involved?

Are you providing financial support?  I mean child-related support?  I suspect that she might claim you two were just roommates sharing expenses if it became a legal conflict.  However, there are some ways to minimize triggering her and you can browse our site for ideas.  But it may be that, no matter what you do, she will stonewall any final work on a shared enforceable custody deal.  She sold you on the idea of platonic motherhood and has delayed real action on it for half a year.  Are you paying half the expenses?  Could she have been using you for financial reasons?  There is a possibility you may have to step out and away if her current actions continue.

[Radcliff]

socketrocket99, starting with the basics first, are you the biological dad?  Was the baby conceived the old-fashioned way, or through a means like artificial insemination where there would be some record of your involvement?  

Do you have a family lawyer?  :)oes she have a lawyer?  If both, is there any chance for the lawyers to talk?

Prior to the contract, how did you communicate to form the arrangement?  :)o you have any e-mails, for example, documenting your agreements?

WW