S5 says mommy and replacement sleep in same bed

[TurbanCowboy]

I moved out Saturday of this past Thanksgiving weekend.  That Saturday morning my wife and replacement went on vacation together.

Right after Christmas he moved into our house.

I’m with my son this weekend and when I asked him about the sleeping arrangement at the house he told me mommy sleeps with Papi. My wife is from Colombia and has my son calling this guy Papi already. I even showed pictures of the master bedroom I have on my phone and my son pointed to where my wife sleeps and where he sleeps.

I have to wait one full year for a no cause divorce in my state, don’t I have an argument for infidelity now which would expedite the divorce?

My wife is absolute trash. What she’s exposing our son to already.

[TurbanCowboy]

I have not spoken to my lawyer yet and have no interest in making this more costly when I wouldn’t stand to gain much and my son will still be exposed to the same nonsense.

I’m in a transition career wise which really prevents me from being able to handle joint physical custody. I would like that to change in a few years.

My wife is saying I can have joint physical custody at some point but she can’t be held accountable to anything she says. She could have a promotion opportunity tomorrow and want to take my son out of state.

I want to have leverage so she can’t take him out of state. I want to have leverage so she can’t go back on her promise to allow me to have joint physical custody.

What she’s exposing our son to makes me want to vomit. I don’t want to make things more expensive and volatile, but I also don’t want a judge telling me in two years  I should have spoken up before.

[ForeverDad]

Most states do not care what the adults do in their adult (personal) lives.  Evidently yours can consider adultery as a factor it but doing so will delay the divorce.  It's a dilemma.  What does your lawyer say?  Do you have one with practical, time-tested proactive strategies?  Do you have a counselor familiar with how to assess your priorities?

Clearly your spouse doesn't care about propriety nor about exposing your son to some level of her extramarital behaviors.  Perhaps too she's trying to punish or spite you by blatantly taking up with another without first ending the marriage.  Whatever her thinking, the overall reality is you have control over just one person - yourself.  If you know the marriage is over, then her activities should have less impact on you.  Your lawyer can advise you whether any of her actions are likely to be actionable in court.

Besides litigating a longer divorce, also consider the expense of pursuing a more complicated divorce case.

We know all this is not right or fair, but courts generally take to let what it considers to be lesser issues go by as not actionable.  We've been there, done that.  The legal system is not fair and sometimes even basks in its claim to be blind.  (I think the 'blind' claim is meant to be that it's not prejudiced.)  Ponder the legal system with your experienced lawyer who has a treasure box of solid strategies and determine what is a solid approach for you and your child's future.