New here—my daughter has BPD, and has struggled with anorexia for years

[Papillon1]

I am new to engaging in this form of support. It is already a relief to have taken this step. My daughter was formally diagnosed with BPD last year after many years of struggling with anorexia nervosa. She has been receiving support since she was 11 years old and is now 25. She has been in both outpatient and long and short term inpatient care for most of this time and is presently under section in a secure hospital (last 13 months). We have always engaged in family therapy and worked with all agencies she has been under care with. She has been described in the past as a career anorexic and is in mental pain all of the time. She self harms regularly in whatever way she can. I recognize many of her traits in myself and despair for her as I can empathize with many of her issues, fears and feelings and now recognize the cycle we are in (my mother was a Bi Polar sufferer). She is an extremely smart, beautiful and caring person when not in the grip of crisis but these episodes have become her lifestyle and we rarely see that person anymore. She is engaging in DBT at the moment, so fingers crossed for some relief and management tools for her. I need to engage with others more so that it does not feel like a closed loop of fear, depression, self questioning, guilt and self loathing. My husband tries to understand but has no experience within himself of mental health concerns, so finds it very hard to discuss, although he does fully engage with our daughter. My other children are 32 and 26 and are fantastic supporting individuals, both closely involved in my daughters’ life. I hope that I can help others within this community but also need this interaction for myself. Hello new friends!

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Huat]

Welcome, welcome, WELCOME, Papillon1!  I can see where your input will be an asset here and I so hope you find some comfort and insight in what others will offer to you in return. 

I am so sorry that you have had to live through the mental problems of your mother and now with your daughter.  My mother was "different' and left the family when my brother and I were young.  Family/friends have hinted about her past.  So then I have a daughter who is "different" - an undiagnosed-but-highly-probable-BPD'er.  Genetics? 

I have been part of face-to-face support groups and I truly believe they can be life-savers.  On this forum, though, you put your fingers to the keyboard and pour out your heart... .no interruptions and no waiting your turn to speak.  Sometimes the only response you get is someone giving you a ((HUG)... .a little something meant to bolster you... .much needed!

Great you are joining us, Papillon.  The old saying, "What doesn't destroy you makes you strong"?  Well... .we, here, work on getting strong.

Huat

[Woolspinner2000]

Hi Papillon1, 

So glad to have you join us! Huat has already extended a warm welcome and I want to jump in to welcome you too. 

This is a wonderful supporting community of others who understand what you are going through and have gone through because we are all dealing in some way with a pwBPD. My person was my uBPDm. We have a list on the right hand side of the board here where you can click on any one of the items and it'll open up into another window. That's a great place to start. -------->> >>

DBT is a good form of T for those with BPD. Here is a link that may have some helpful information for you:

Treatment of BPD

How long will she be in DBT?

 
Wools

[Yepanotherone]

Hi papillon   welcome to our family   the water is always warm , Jump right on in  

[Papillon1]

Thank you for letting me join you! She actually finished DBT today after a 12 week course and we spoke on the telephone after her session. It was the nicest conversation we have had in a very long time. I praised her for her hard work and listened when she told me where she had fallen down; she has a really hard time adhering to other peoples’guidelines and rules and feels compelled to break a few every week, but for me, it was a breakthrough to have her calmly discuss how she wants to move forward. A GOOD DAY!