BPD desc finally rings true for my son whom I have always been confused about

[concernforson]

My son has always been explosive, at times irrational, smart ... .  I have been seeking help since he was 3 years old (he's now 22) and think I have finally figured this out.  After reading "Walking on Eggshells... .", I see that everything I have experienced over the years is classic BPD, as described in that book. Now, I want to find a therapist who is experienced with this so my husband and I can learn how to deal with this.  We have been enabling him for years.  He sees a therapist now at our insistence -- he is does not think there is anything wrong with him and only goes because we've threatened to kick him out (he has no clue why we would do that even after battle after battle in the home).  After reading this book, I think we/he needs an entirely different approach.  He probably isn't letting himself get anything out of this therapy and I don't think the therapist has any experience with BPD.  I wrote him about my recent revelations but he cannot communicate with me given that my son is an adult... .  So scared about this possible diagnosis but it makes all the sense in the world to me now ... .

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Mutt]

Hi concernforson,



Id like to welcome you to bpdfamily. I’m sorry for the circumstances that led you to our site I am glad that you have found us. It must of been different cult to go through this journey with no knowledge about BPD for 21 years. I can understand how worrisome it feels when we discover BPD it may sound hopeless it’s not hopeless. How is your r/s with him today?

[Merlot]

Hi Concernforson

I join Mutt in welcoming you, and really share your feelings about arriving at a reality of BPD.

It can be such a revelation as well as devastation to have a diagnosis. I think a great positive is the oppprtunity to learn which puts us in a better position to engage with our children and ensure we can look after ourselves.

Looking back I too realised that I enabled many behaviours and I was terrible at establishing my own limits and boundaries.

I have been learning from other parents and the information on the board to guide me. I read "Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder" by Shari Manning. It really led me to a more grounded place. I still struggle with the journey but am putting into practice my learnings.

Im glad you have supprt in your husband.
Please keep sharing as we are all here to support you

Merlot