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Skills we were never taught
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A 3 Minute Lesson
on Ending Conflict
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Setting Boundaries
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Author Topic: I needed a break, selfish?  (Read 397 times)
Bright Day Mom
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Posts: 243


« on: April 20, 2018, 09:06:55 AM »

Hello Everyone,

It has been quite some time since I logged in; but I truly needed a break.  This may seem very selfish, but our family had been to hell and back with our teen.  Reading about continued struggles with adult children had taken a severe toll on my own well being.  So, I powered down and did a whole lot of work on ME. I am now stronger, feel rejuvenated and can see a bright part of every day!

Our daughter is readying to graduate high school!   Yes, it has been one heck of a roller coaster ride, and we continue to have ups and downs, but nowhere near what it used to be.   She has even chosen a post graduate plan  Doing the right thing (click to insert in post)

So, to all that often seem hopeless, know there is hope, you just have to believe it in your .

All the best to you and your loved ones -  continue to look for the brightness

Bright Day Mom
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Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders
bluek9
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Posts: 257


we are full of color


« Reply #1 on: April 20, 2018, 11:03:06 AM »

Hi Bright Day Mom,

           Glad you're back. So happy to hear that you took time out for yourself. When I started here I asked the same question, about being selfish. Found out in short order the answer to that is NO. Also very happy to hear that you have hope in your heart! I have found such support and love here. Thanks for sharing that things are better for you now.
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   H:healing, O:options, PE:positive encouragement
wendydarling
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Gender: Female
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Relationship status: Mother
Posts: 2701



« Reply #2 on: April 20, 2018, 11:34:47 AM »

    Yeh!     Bright Day Mom   how absolutely lovely to hear from you! We've missed you and understand you need to take care of you, you practice exactly what we preach here - self care and it works when we do, I'm glad you feel stronger, rejuvenated and see a bright part of every day, again.

Well done to your young girl for keeping going - pushing through the ups and downs, that's some achievement readying to graduate high school, you must be very proud of her, she'd not be where she is without you walking with her.

My DD continues to move forwards, oh those days in 2015-16, while determined I felt so unsure day by day as things can change quickly in crisis, you were right there cheering us on, thank you being there for me, like we do here, we pass our learning and support on.  

What a Bright Fri-Day it is, you popping in  Smiling (click to insert in post) Hope your husband and eldest girl are bright too -  Doing the right thing (click to insert in post)

Hope.

WDx
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Be kind, always and all ways ~ my BPD daughter
Huat
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Relationship status: Estranged
Posts: 595


« Reply #3 on: April 20, 2018, 01:44:44 PM »

Hello again Bright Day Mom!  I echo Wendydarling and Bluek9 in saying glad to see you back.   

I hear when you write about the need to sometimes take a break.  Doing the right thing (click to insert in post) That has been written by others here, too.   After a break, though, you come back more refreshed and able to give all the more support to those in need... .especially to those Newbies who come on board and you can almost see the tears dropping in their first posts.

So important for those others to read that you and your family are having "better days."  You are passing along the message that things can change... .takes work and patience... .but it can happen.  Mainly, it is the work each of us has to do on ourselves.  We can't change others... .but we can change ourselves.  Our tomorrows may not be the tomorrows we had envisioned but half the battle is acceptance of what is... .IS... .then we look for tools to help us better deal with situations.  Makes life so much easier.

Huat Smiling (click to insert in post)

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Feeling Better
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Posts: 742


« Reply #4 on: April 23, 2018, 02:09:41 PM »

Hello Bright Day Mom,

I am so pleased for you that you feel able to come back to the board, and well done you for recognising that you needed to take some time out. I look forward to reading your posts.

It is great to read that you have done work on YOU and you now feel rejuvenated and stronger.

I was wondering, would you be able to share with us here what worked for you, how you managed to overcome and come out the other side feeling so strong and positive? I know I would love to hear and I feel pretty sure that I’m not the only one x
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