How to stop giving, and over giving. How to be healthy

[juju2]

Hi family

Looking at my r/s, over the past 11 years, what is it about me that has the balance of give and take be always out of balance.

I am reading about boundaries.

Am learning new ways of not being a caretaker.

Maybe I can learn to do the opposite of what i want to do?
It just seems like I have been a patsy.
Dislike using that word and implication.
don't know what else to call it... .

Is it my perspective... .

at this point, since we are separated, it doesnt matter so much, day to day, and it is still important.

It's like I have a reputation with him to be easy in this area... .
I hear other nons on here talking about giving and giving... .
Maybe if someone could share even a small victory and how they got there... .
With gratitude,  juju

[ClingToHope]

I hear you on the giving and giving.
It was drilled into me from my controlling mom and not helped with my own self worth issues.
 I am trying to learn about establishing boundaries myself
And also how to effectively validate. I seem to have missed that class too. 

I will be watching this thread for insight.

Can I ask what you have been reading to learn boundaries.

All the best CTH

[juju2]

I have just been reading the posts here.

I know there is a great book on it.

Anyone feel free to jump in... .