Child has BPD behaviors

[Alex25]

Hello everyone.   My daughter has exhibited all of the classic BPD behaviors since the age of 2.  She is now 16 and at first I would say she will outgrow it.  She has gotten worse in the last 2 years.  I have been and continue to be verbally and physically abused.   I feel like I am trapped since I can’t send her away anywhere and I do not have any family support. We have tried all kinds of therapy, have sent her away to a residential mental health facility with no real improvement.  She recently started mood stabilizers but has stopped taking them becuaee if the weight gain.  She hates herself and how she looks and blames me for her weight gain.  While the meds helped,  the side effect of the weight gain has made her angry and depressed.  She is constantly lashing out at me with verbally abusive language.   I have come to the conclusion that she will never change and I will have to do Learn how to deal with the abuse.  There is so much more I can say.  Thanks for reading my post

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Merlot]

Hi Alex25

 

Welcome to the bpdfamily.  I'm sorry to hear what you are going through and it seems, have been for such a long time.  On that basis and with limited family, it's great that you are here to get some much needed support and guidance. 

I can relate to so much of your daughter's behaviour, although I have limited experience with medications.  My DD27 was not diagnosed until about three years ago, however she was very challenging as a little girl and her teenage years were horrendous with self harm, drinking, raging and abusing us, among other things.

In hindsight I wish I had known about BPD then, as I would have been able to learn how to adapt my communication style and my own behaviours towards her, however, despite multiple counsellors, she was never diagnosed... .it just seemed she was a rebellious teengager.  So I'm glad for you that you have an early diagnosis.

Learning about BPD will hopefully put you in a stronger position of being able to look after yourself and your daughter.  I have read much information on this board, and the parents here have been fantastic in helping guide me through my own journey.

I have also read a few good books, one I really enjoyed was "Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder.

I do hope you keep coming to share your own experiences as we all care for each other here, it is a place of sanctuary.

I hope you are ok

Hugs 
Merlot

[Insom]

Hi, Alex25.     Allow me to join Merlot in welcoming you.

It sounds like you're feeling exasperated and I can relate very much to how frustrating it can feel to love someone with BPD.    We are hear to listen when you need support.

How are things at home at the moment?  Has your routine changed due to summer break?