15 y.o. ran away . . . again

[parentingisrough]

My 15 y.o. daughter, who is less than 2 weeks out from wilderness therapy just ran away.  Again.  There was no triggering event.  And y'all, I am so tired of this.  We're 50k in debt from wilderness and right back where we started.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[wendydarling]

Hi parentingisrough

 

Welcome, I'm glad you've jumped in with your first post. Sounds like you need a big hug right now   after all you've been through, sometimes it can feel like we are going backwards. Have you any idea where she may have run to, apart from running what other behaviours are you dealing with?

You are tired of this, it's exhausting and frustrating. We are here listening, here to support you.

WDx

[parentingisrough]

Thank you WDx.  I appreciate the welcome and support!  I'm working to keep a stock market analogy in my head; she will have days in which she reverts to dangerous behaviors, and I hope for an overall trend upward.

So many tough behaviors:  running away, reaching out to older men (strangers) for physical intimacy, drug abuse, cutting, suicide attempts, stealing.  It's hard listing them because at the same time she's artistic, funny, and warm. 

I know she's with someone she perceives as safe.  We have contacted police.  My husband and I are working to respond rather than react and wow, that's hard to do.  I want to have a good response planned out if and when she returns.

[wendydarling]

You are most welcome  I like your style, stock market analogy made me smile, and boy we need that facing what we do. For me the upward trend came by tiny rays of light, little golden nuggets and an unlimited amount of patience in addition to everything else in the toolbox. Those are tough behaviours and I can understand it's hard listing them when you look at your girls positive traits, she sounds lovely.

How long was she at Wilderness, did she take to it, did you see a change, recognising she's only been home two weeks! We don't have anything like that in the UK as far as I'm aware, we went straight for outpatients DBT/meds for co-morbid when my then 26 yr old daughter was diagnosed following hitting crisis and diagnosis in 2015.

Has your daughter disappeared for a long time before, you say if she returns, do you think she may run from where she is?

Yes it's takes work to respond rather than react in when things are right up there. Deep breathe 

Hang in there, we are here right with you.

WDx